( seagulls calling ) ( waves crashing ) man: please prepare to exit the ferry. ( horn blares ) man: attention on deck. we are now arriving at fire island pines. welcome to fire island, everybody. please take care exiting the boat. those steps can be wet.
also double-check you have all your luggage... ...have a good day. - hey, weeks.- hey, honey. how you doing? we're doing great. here we are. what are you guysdoing? hairy is out.your turn, teddy bear. oh, no, i lovemy teddy.
calvin kleinwould not approve. baseball game is on and my summer hasofficially begun. the thing is,he actually means it. - hey, baby.- how are you? - cold beer?- no, i've already had a couple. nice stripes,lieutenant. hot. oh, please--captain. just got backfrom the reserves.
you know what they say,once a month i getto play a real man. oh, haven't seen youat the gym lately. bruce? - your turn, bruce.- what? what? brucey, please,don't embarrass ourhouse at the beach, hon. uh-oh.gotta do it. you know whatthey say, ned. if youcan't beat 'em... join 'em.
that's my guy. craig was miserablewhen you weren'tinterested. now look.he's got robert redford. shows youthere is a god. - how's john?- john? - john.- john? oh, john. no, i'm withgregory now. we're celebrating our15-month anniversary. 15? that's a long timefor you, mickey.
oh, please, we're loversand we live together. it's not likewe're faithfulto each other, too. he's not even jewish.don't tell my rabbi. - my god.- ( laughing ) - ( music playing ) - hey, weeks, you suck. why do you evencome here anymore? we don't want you. ( men laughing ) you made us lookterrible in your novel.
look around you.sex is liberating. all i said was having so much sex makes finding love impossible. do not put your failureto find someone - on the rest of us.- bruce: neddy! - ow!- oh, jeez. ( coughing ) oh, god. ( coughs ) guys!
hey, what happened? - you okay?- i'm okay. just got alittle lightheaded. i got myself up.i'm fine. i just gota little dizzy. he seemed okay. ( men singing )♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthdayto you ♪ ♪ happy birthday,dear craig ♪
♪ happy birthdayto you. ♪ blow! - he's good at that.- ( laughter ) - ( cheering )- ( coughs ) ( music playing ) i fuckinglove this place! ( cheering ) ( music continues ) ♪ when we're up and dancing ♪
♪ on the floor, darling ♪ ♪ and i feel like i need some more ♪ ♪ and i feel your body close to mine ♪ ♪ and i know my love, it's about that time ♪ ♪ make me feel mighty real ♪ ♪ make me feel mighty real... ♪ ned!hey, ned! come on.please? ♪ you make me feel ♪
♪ mighty real. ♪ ( thunder rumbling ) ( moaning ) i sold youa ceramic pig once at maison franceon bleecker street. i'm sanford. yes, i remember. somebody i wasfriends with thencollected pigs and you hadthe biggest pig i'd everseen outside a real pig.
( chuckles ) they just keepgetting bigger and won't go away. i'm her20th case. and six of themare dead. ( door opens ) hey, ned.won't be a minute. hey, buzzy.i didn't knowyou worked here. - ( faint whirring )- woman: who are you?
uh, ned weeks.i spoke to you afterthe "times" article. come in.take your clothes off. i only came to asksome questions. you are gay,aren't you? yes. take your clothes off.don't be nervous. i've seen more menthan you have. doctor: to answer all of your questions, i don't know. i've never seen or heard of anything like this.
have you had anyof the symptoms? most of the shitthe "times" said-- amoebas, gonorrhea,hepatitis. you don't know whatit's been like sincethe sexual revolution. what makes youthink i don't? any fever,night sweats, weight loss? don't i wish.no. and purple lesions?open your mouth. it's a cancer.
there's a strange reactionin the immune system. it's collapsed.won't fight. so the diseasesmost of my patientsare coming down with are brought on by germsthat wouldn't hurt a baby. - ticklish.- at least not a babyin new york city anyway. the immune systemis the system we knowthe least about. so where's this big mouthi hear you've got? - is big moutha symptom?- no. it's a cure.
this seems to only behappening to gay men. buzzy says youare well-known inthe gay community and not afraid to say what you think. i can't findany gay leaders and i call gayorganizations, no oneever calls me back. dr. brookner, no onewith half a brain getsinvolved with gay politics. - there's no room for criticism.- what's your criticism? i hate that weplay victim when many of us,most of us, don't have to.
then you're exactlywhat's needed now. maybe they're just waitingfor someone to lead them. i don't wantto lead them. what exactly are youtrying to get me to do? tell gay mento stop having sex. do you think that this canceris sexually transmitted? i think it is, yes. can i prove it yet?no. do you realizethat you're talking about
millions of men who have singled outpromiscuity as their principalpolitical agenda? - how do you deal with that?- tell them they may die. - where?- down the hall.down the hall! it's not that simple.it's more complicatedthan that. they think sexis all they have. mr. weeks, if havingsex can kill you, doesn't anyone with halfa brain stop fucking?
you can go.i'm not finding whati'm looking for here. ( elevator bell rings ) - bruce: where? - mickey: open up! - where? where?- right in that room. just put him upon the table. up here.let's find a pulse. baby, easy. - be still.- buzzy: can youtell me what happened? we weremeeting him outside.
we turned the cornerand he just collapsed. - ( horns honking ) - ( panting ) ( tires screech ) jesus! hey, get the fuckout of the street! - ( gasping )- baby! - oh, my god!- help! - ( sobbing )- ( siren blaring ) - who's the lover?- i am, ma'am.
- what's your name?- bruce niles. brookner.i need a room immediately. niles, you werereinhardt's boyfriend. yes, ma'am.how do you know that? he diedthree weeks ago. ( sirens echoing ) ( door slams ) wouldn't even let mesay goodbye. not even let mekiss him goodbye.
he's dead? so sorry. it can happenthis fast? it just did. we have to dosomething. no one else will. mickey: what are we supposed to do? morton: you make these assumptions on the basis of 46 cases. you wantedto know what i think.this is what i think.
you are all goingto infect each other. ( clamoring ) now only a fewof you have. unfortunately, we can'ttell yet which ones. long before we isolatedthe hepatitis viruses, we knew aboutthe diseases they caused and how they got around. where arethe medical journals?the "times"? i sent my first reportsto the medical journalsover a year ago.
excuse me, how do you knowwhat you're looking for, real quick, if you don't knowwhat you're looking for? i'm sorry, i guess that's a dumb question. no, it isn't.it's the smartestquestion of all and the hardest oneto answer. doesn't common sensetell you you shouldcool it for a while? ( clamoring, laughter ) ned: why not? that doesn't leave muchto look forward to.
what if it turns outthat you're wrong? let her speak! the worst that couldhappen would be that youcooled it for a while. - ( clamoring )- no, excuse me.excuse me. excuse me.that is not the worstthat will have happened. guys will becomefrightened of sex. we will loseour self-respect that we fought very,very hard for. we will be scapegoatedworse than ever.
the world will thinkwe're carriers and the moral majoritywill have even moreof a field day. ( group clamoring ) i am not coming backuntil this bitch onwheels is gone. wait! i seemore cases each weekthan the week before. half of allmy patients die. okay, i hopeshe winds this up, 'cause i've gota tiny little orgyin new rochelle. where's the health department?where's the mayor?
- shut the fuck up, john.- oh, you shut the fuck up, hon. what arethe numbers? ( voices overlapping ) is every gay meetinglike this? half these people justshowed up to get laid. ned: quiet! quiet! we're starting a group.we're starting a healthcrisis group. we're gonnameet here again. man: next time, bring some fucking food.
tommy: hey, hey, hey. that's not nice. welcome to gay politics. yeah, i'm very latefor an important meetingwith craig claiborne. he's expecting me. ( phones ringing,typewriter keys clicking ) - hi, felix turner.- and you are? my name's ned weeks. you're very cute. you caught me ata rough moment, all right?
i have a deadline.the first lady iscoming to town. i've been told you're gayand you might be able to help me get some vitalinformation in the "times." you've "been told"?and who was itthat told you? oh, honey, everybody'stalking about it. why doeseveryone gay think that i run"the new york times"? i can't help youwith this. sorry to hear that.what would yousuggest i do?
take your pick.i got 23 parties, 37 new restaurants,12 new discos. listen, i can't getanyone here to writeanother article. i've talked tohalf a dozen reporters and the guy who workedon the first piece. "mr. leather"?yeah, no. no one herewill write about itand i can't. look, we're verycompartmentalized. you wouldn't wantscience to write aboutsweaters, would you?
it's a verypeculiar feelinghaving to go out and seek supportfrom a straight worldfor something gay. ( whispering )i wouldn't knowabout that. i just writeabout gay designersand gay discos and gay chefsand gay modelsand gay rock stars and gay celebritiesand gay everything. i just don'tcall them gay. isn't it timeyou start? ( scoffs )
- look, i really dohave a deadline,- hmm. and you wouldn'twant me to get fired. would you? guys like you give mea pain in the ass. - you in the book?- yes. ned:hi, guys. give to gay cancer? hi, give to gay cancer? no? hi. give to gay cancer? hi, sir--
hi, give to gay cancer?there's a cancer in thegay community. can you giveto gay cancer? there's a--there's a crisis inour community right now. we could really use-- we could use a little help. anything? no? i think you could bea little less aggressive. less aggressive?we've tried that. can you giveto cancer inour community? hi, give to gay cancer?
( surf rumbles ) ( sniffles ) it's funny.my mothersent flowers. and i had nevertold her i was gay. i just told herthat craig had died. i thinkshe knew. i think somehowmothers always know. doesn't spending$5 million on a housefrighten you? scared the shitout of me even having youhandling my finances.
you can have a houseanytime you want. which reminds me,your account needsmore money. you're not doingtoo badly. i miss you beingin the movie business. - i like movies.- do i detect a noteof approval from the big brotherthat called me "lemon"? i don't want a house. then why have youbeen searching in the countryfor so long for?
- no funliving in it alone.- this bruce... is he someoneyou're seeing? i see him,he doesn't see me. ben... could your law firmtake this on for free? what's it called?pro bono? we started an organization,i told you there's thisnew disease. now this soundslike just another excuseto keep from writing. why can't youjust say "yes"?
i told you,because we havea committee that decidesthat kind of thing. but you'rethe senior partner and i'm your brother. hey, mario.how's homer? if you're not gonnahelp, i'm gonna haveto find somebody else. - well, you're morethan free to do that.- i don't want to do that. i want my big brother'sfancy, famous, big-time,major law firm
to be thefirst straightnew york law firm to do pro bono workfor a gay cause. i'd be real proudof that and you. i'll ask my partners'approval at the nextmeeting. i'll lobby them.you don't sound likea very sure vote. okay. you're gettingbetter at it. dr. brookner: i'm seeing three to four new patients a week. i've got seven in icu. the whole hospital only has room for 30.
i've had to admitsome of them under other illnesses.that's a no-no. i've got 20in private roomsthey can't afford. okay, what aboutthe guys who don'thave health insurance... - artists, actors?- i've got eight of themin another ward where i shouldn'tput them. why don't you weargloves and a face mask? i never haveand i never will. and i'm still here.
why is all the foodsitting outside theirrooms like this? - it's getting cold.- it's always cold because theappropriate staff won'tbring it into the rooms, so it sits and rotsuntil one of my staff can. sanford: right there. yeah, by the water. yeah, right through the tunnel. take the tunnel.we'll take the book back. i know him.can i go inside with you? only if you wearall the protective shit.
if you don't,i don't. sanford: over there. go the other way. no, are you listening to me? are you listening to me? go back. - hi, sanford.- you see that? take the tunnel. go ahead,drive straight through. how we doing,soldier? i want my dog.can you pleasebring me my dog? he won't be able to live without me.
i want my dog.i want my dog. go ahead. that's right. oh, good. good. no. take the book back. right there. pull hard. right there. can you please bring me my dog? he won't know how to live without me. ( tv buzzing ) don't bother.
who's going tobring me my dog? his name is skip. he'll come when you call him. please.( gasping ) i miss him. ( sobbing ) i miss him. can you imagine thisat 19? your first boyfriendyou were gonna spendyour whole life with. ( door opens )
- excuse me.- man: yeah. you're the tv guy? please go to room 407and fix it. - no i'm not gonna do that.- fix the tv. it's yourfucking job. my union says i don'tgotta risk my life for somecontagious fairy. if i have to go in there,then i fucking quit. so what exactlyhas your side been doing? ( door opens, closes )
( music playing ) ( doorbell rings ) - hi.- hey. thanks. want some of this?a beer? oh, beer's fine.thanks. oh, hey, pooch. - her name's sam.- hi, sam. you know, i reallyused to like high-tech,
but i'm tiredof it now. i think i wantchintz back again. don't be insulted. i'm not. i want chintz backagain, too. so, here we are. two fellowswho want chintzback again. i guess this reallyis a date. i'm starving.
- you glad i'm here?- oh-- i'm pleased as punchyou're here. you're very good-looking.what are you doing here? you think you'rebad-looking or something? ( groans )where you from? i'm from oklahoma. i left home at 18,put myself through-- what, you wanna dance? put myselfthrough college.
my dad worked at the refinery in west tulsa and my momwas a waitress. had a luncheonettein walgreens. it's amazing, isn't it?how a kid comes outof all that and wind upon the "times," dictatingtaste and styleto the entire world. and we werejust startingto talk so nicely. talking'snot my problem. - shutting up'smy problem.- ( chuckling )
why do you writeall that fancyball gown bullshit? i bet you gobble itup every day. i know 10 peoplewho have died. when i came to you,it was only one. i'm sorry. is that why youagreed to this date? forkon the left. knifeon the right. did you know thathitler's final solution
to eliminatethe polish jews was first mentionedin the "times"?it was on page 28. on page 6 of the"washington post." they are bothowned by jews.their very own people. scholars are finallywriting honestly about itand it's damning to everyone. where is the christianchurches? the pope?churchill? roosevelt? a few words fromany of them would haveput hitler on notice. dachau was open in 1933.where the fuck was everybody? this is turning outto be a very romanticevening.
you've never hada lover, have you? i suppose you'vehad quite a few. i had a verygood one. for a numberof years, thank you. he was olderthan i was and hefound someone younger. - you looking for a father?- no, i'm not lookingfor a father. god. you're relentless. that's yours. everybody hada million reasonsfor not getting involved.
- the american jews knewexactly what was going on.- ( laughing ) could you imagineif every jew had marchedon washington proudly, huh? ned. you don't remember me,do you? it was at the baths a few years ago. announcer: come to man's country, see what we're all about and what we have to offer. man's country is a full facility, multileveled complex that was designed to feature something for everyone.
come to man's country to develop your body... or a friendship with somebody else's. visit us once and you'll come again and again. ♪ nasty ♪ ♪ you're nasty... ♪ you would've thoughti was applying for the cia the wayyou looked at me. and thenwhat happened? felix: i followed you into your room.
♪ nasty... ♪ you couldn't even open your eyes. you told me your real name was alexander. ( grunts ) i asked what you didand you said something like you "tried a numberof things" and... i asked if thathad included love. that's when you said,"i have to get upearly in the morning." yeah.
men do notnaturally not love. they learn not to. i think you'rea bluffer. how could i notremember you? ( chuckles )i don't know. it was very dark. do you thinkwe could start over? ( grunting ) ( panting )
( panting, moaning ) when i was goingto yale, i thought iwas the only gay guy there. swear to god. went to the shrinkwho tried to change me. now they have"gay weeks" there and they throwthe best dancesof anyone. imagine being ableto dance cheek to cheek with your boyfriendduring your brightcollege days. did you ever sleepwith a woman?
what? her name was...delilah. delilah? she was... a stand-in onthis movie i wrote. she was very niceand pretty. always smilingat me. so i-- i askeda straight friendto explain it to me. - i thought i knew, but ijust wanted to make sure.- ( laughing )
and i had herto dinner and... afterwards, what i deemedto be a suitable moment because i had beencommunicating with itdown there-- "are you ready?are you absolutelycertain you're ready?" and when it appeared"abercrombie" was ready. i picked her up,very rhett butler, and carried herto my bed. - where i couldn'tget it up.- oh! - but--- i can certainlyrelate to that.
in the middle of the night,i woke up with this gigantic erection,god-- god knows how. so i shake her, shouting,"please stick it in for me,delilah." - i was afraid of it goingaway before i could--- ( laughing ) while i was huntingfor the right placeto put it. she did and i did,and abercrombie did. - ( laughing )- ugh... the next morningi woke up and i, who had beenunder the spellof this shrink
who was determinedto change me, rushedinto his office. and i, who had beenfucking with fellows since the 7th grade, hysterically,at the age of 32proclaimed, "dr. gillespie,i'm no longer a virgin!" oh, aw. - ( door opens ) - henry: he's in here. i think we'll catch him. all right.
so, i just go overand say hello? i told himi invited you and wewent to yale together. it's my farewell party.what's he gonna do? let's go. ahem. his honor wouldlike you to get lost. - this is my friend, ned weeks.- yeah, we know who he is. mr. mayor!we need your help! there's this new disease.you must have heard about it.
we need your help badly!get off me, you pigs! this is america! mr. mayor!we're dying! ( papers rustling ) okay, this is what nedwrote for us to send out. "i am sick of guysmoaning that giving upcareless sex..." ned:"...until this blows overis worse than death. i am sick of guys that can only think with their cocks. i am sick of closeted gays. it's 1982 now, guys,
when are you gonna come out? by 1983 you could be dead." ( murmuring ) you're crazy. am i, bruce?do you really think so? - aren't we supposed toelect a president tonight?- yes. we can't tell people howto live their lives, ned. the entire gay politicalmovement is fucking. - hi.- hi. you know, i'm very interestedin starting up some sortof services for the patients.
we've gotta starttalking about them. also, there are a lotof very scared peopleout there and they're desperatefor information. i'd like to starta hotline. who's he? ooh, he does notknow who i am yet. his name istommy boatwright. in real life, he is ahospital administrator. uh... he's here to helpand he's a southern bitch.
- ( laughter )- mr. boatwright,bruce niles. - nice to meet you.- my pleasure. tommy: you're very handsome. he knows. ( music plays softly ) bruce:the fuck is this? was this your idea, ned? i'm looking.what am i not seeing? - keep looking.- what we putfor our return address.
do you mean becausethe word "gay" is onthe envelope? fucking a, yes.instead of justour initials. - we can't send these out.- excuse me. if we want anybodyto show up for this dance, we have to getthese out tonight. we need to go throughand scratch out the word"gay" with a magic marker. oh, honey,10,000 times? ned: bruce, i have sympathy for kids living at home on long islandwith their parents, but--
but the guys who aregetting these... look at you. you live at home--you live alone, you ownyour own apartment, your mother livesin another state. - okay, what aboutmy mailman?- ( all groaning ) you don't expect meto take you seriously. - yes, i do, ned.- okay, ladies, behave. look, it's getting lateand we still haven'telected a president. neddy... i think that itshould be bruce.
everybody knows himeverybody likes him - and everybody-- - 'cause he's popular and everybody's afraid of me? all:yes! i mean, look at him.he's-- he's gorgeous and all the kidsin christopher streetand fire island, they'll just-- they'llfeel a little bit morecomfortable following him. - just like high school.- all: yes! morton: all right, all those in favor of bruce niles as our first president, raise their hands.
i don't thinki want this. oh, come on.you're gorgeous and we'reall gonna follow you. - fuck you, i accept.- well, fuck you,congratulations. ( applause ) ♪ do you really want to make me cry? ♪ felix... let's movesomewhere far away, just the two of us,together on a desertisland. don't you dare stopfor one single second what you're doing.
i appreciate younot yelling at me about what the"times" isn't doing and my not beingmore political. - why don't you?- it's a relief not havingto have to talk politics with someone,but that's notthe reason. no? it's because you'retoo good to be true, because i've beenwaiting for a loverlike you my whole life, you haven't showed upuntil now,
and i'm scared shitlessthat i'm gonna dosomething to fuck it up. - am i crazy?- of course. that's whyi'm here. now we gettin' warm. ( camera shuttersclicking ) ♪ sending you forget-me-nots ♪ ♪ forget-me-nots ♪ ♪ to help me to remember ♪ ♪ baby, please forget me not ♪
♪ forget me not ♪ ♪ i want you to remember ♪ ♪ sending you forget-me-nots... ♪ did i look okay? could you telli was wearing all this makeup? you looked great. - you have got to go see emma. - ( scoffs ) can we justforget about this? i'm all right.
and if i'm not, i don'twanna know becauseno one will hire me, and if i can't work,i'd just as soon be dead. i haven't lostany weight. i can stillcover it up. - i told you notto tell him.- sorry. already afraidto kiss me? that's not true. it's okay.i'm afraid to let you. i love you.
i'll walk him down. okay, he's the third guyi've been with. reinhardt, craig,and i don't knowwhat i'll do if albert has this. you're gonna fight. we'll fight together. you're my best friend,ned weeks. you're my best friendand i've never metanyone like you before. what do you mean,like me?
like you, meaning... where i'm from,i-- i mean-- i didn't even see a jewuntil i was in the army, let alone a manthat was smart, funny... decently good-looking. my friends stoppedhanging out with me because they sayi depress them.
so be it. and you... you don't look that jewish. well, youdon't look gay, so i guess we can bothpass for white people. i love albert. bruce, look at me. i love him. albert's gonnamake it.
what if he doesn't? let's get you home. ( distant siren wailing ) ( retching ) - i'm a mess.- yeah. ( water splashing ) - classy moment.- yeah. ( thumps ) - i'm all right.- okay.
when i finally get youwhere i want you, i don't want youanymore. hey, bruce,i'm in love too. hey. holy shit! queen control. really workswhen it wants to. ( voices overlapping ) oh, hey, felix.this is dick lombardo.
- hi.- finally got ussomeone on our board who isn'ta disco dummy. well...maybe tonight. - i'll see ya.- felix: nice to meet ya. ned:come on. ♪ ...and so you're back ♪ ♪ from outer space ♪ ♪ i just walked in to find you here ♪ ♪ with that sad look upon your face ♪
♪ i should have changed that stupid lock ♪ ♪ i should have made you leave your key ♪ ♪ if i had known for just one second ♪ ♪ you'd be back to bother me ♪ ♪ go on, now go ♪ ♪ walk out the door ♪ ♪ just turn around now ♪ ♪ 'cause you're not welcome anymore ♪ ♪ weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? ♪
♪ did you think i'd crumble? ♪ ♪ did you think i'd lay down and die? ♪ ♪ oh, no, not i ♪ - ♪ i will survive... ♪ - ( taps ) - ♪ oh, as long as-- ♪ - ( music stops ) ( groaning ) we are all so happyyou joined us tonight! ( applause,cheering ) we are proving that weare more than just
looks, brains,talent and heart. together we raised morethan any gay group ever in this city. and i wanna call over mr. ned weeks. ( cheering continues ) don't be shy. we did it! we will now revealjust how much weraised together. in three,two, one...
( together )$53,000! ( cheering resumes ) gay men's health crisis,come on up. felix, honey, come on up, please. come up. let's dance! ( music resumes ) ♪ just turn around now ♪ ♪ weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye? ♪ ♪ i will survive ♪ ♪ oh, as long as i know how to love ♪
♪ i know i'll stay alive... ♪ ( playing softly ) chorus: ♪ someday he'll come along ♪ ♪ the man i love ♪ ♪ and he'll be bigand strong ♪ ♪ and whenhe comes my way ♪ ♪ i'll do my best ♪ ♪ to make him stay ♪ ♪ he'll look at me and smile ♪
♪ i'll understand ♪ ♪ and in a little while ♪ ♪ he'll take my hand ♪ ♪ and though it seems absurd ♪ ♪ i know we both won't say a word ♪ ♪ maybe i shall meet him sunday ♪ ♪ maybe monday ♪ ♪ maybe not ♪ ♪ still i'm sureto meet him...♪
imagine if wehad this whenwe were young. no fear,no shame. all i was imaginingall those years was you. ♪ he'll build a little home ♪ ♪ just meant for two ♪ ♪ from which i'll never roam ♪ ♪ who would, would you? ♪ ♪ and so all else above ♪ ♪ i'm waiting for the man... ♪
felix turner,would you liketo move in with me? - yes?- yesterday. yes?yes! - yes! yes!- ♪ and so all else above... ♪ ( onlookers cheering ) ♪ i'm waiting for ♪ ♪ the man ♪ ♪ i love. ♪ ned: "we are all walking time bombs
waiting for whatever it is to set us off." ( gasping ) - c'mon, we're almost there.- ned: "if this article doesn't scare the shit out of you, gay men may have no future here on earth. our continued existence depends on just how angry you can get." - ( bell pings ) - ( banging on door ) - they turned us awayfrom four emergency rooms.- come in! i think he'slost his mind. - ned, where can i take him?- put him on the couch there.i'll call emma.
- god damn it!- i'll get some water. ned: how long has he been like this? - a couple hours.- ( gasping ) well, i'm gladyou asked methat question. what do i think?i know that thegovernment is intentionallyignoring this epidemic. you're accusingthe government ofthe united states of a conspiracyto murder all gay men? yes. yes,you can say that.
yes, sarabeth,i am. yes. that is a powerfulaccusation. this is an epidemicand it's being ignored by the united statesgovernment. - intentionally?- intentionallybeing ignored. this is a nationalemergency. this is an epidemic.it's a plague. you can't go on national tvand accuse the governmentof murder, ned. - why not?- because one daywe're gonna get money,
- research grants.- congress still hasn'tappropriated a dime. the mayor's still...on and on! ned, when you go public,you have no right to speakfor this organization unless we have approvedwhat you have to sayin advance. you know, in point of fact,you aren't even an officerof this organization and you shouldn't bespeaking for us at all. well, thank youfor sharing thatwith me, dick. ( theme music playing ) why do you thinkthe city has beenso slow
to acknowledge and dealwith this emergency? well, you're implyingthat the city has recognized and acknowledgedthis emergency, malcolm.it has not. why not,do you think? because the mayor's gayand he's scared shitless out of his pantiesit'll blow his cover. - ( object clatters ) - what? - man: take it off, get it off. - are we still rolling? ( tone beeps )
you can'ttell me what to say wheni'm speaking for myself. bullshit.they all knowyou're one of us. it is totallyand politically incorrect to call someone gaywho does not self-identifyas being gay. i know it's beenthat way forever, but something differentis going on here now.we're dying. the mayor, he's a personalfriend of yours. you want himto appoint youa judge. do you have a littleconflict of interestgoing on here?
- i told you i senthim a memo.- when? - through channels.- when? - he'll answer me.- when?! there's 110 new cases this month! still no meetingwith our gay mayor. no meeting with hisgay assistant. what? do iembarrass you, bruce? yes.you do. you get morewith honey thanwith vinegar, babe.
god, no one's told methat one, tommy. no, obviously,they haven't. i never believedthat bullshit, anyway. we are in over our headswith the patients we'retrying to help. tommy, will youplease read this reportout loud for ned? tommy: we have trained 25 crisis counselors to help the newlydiagnosed in whatever needsthat they might have. we have 12 group leaderswho meet with thesecounselors at least once a weekto go over their clients.
there are now 17 volunteer social workers, psychologistsand/or psychiatrists. we helped draw up 75wills last-- 75, bruce! you used to bea fighter once. - did you like beingin the green berets?- yes. i loved it. have you completelyforgotten how to fight? don't tell me how to fight.i just fight differentlythan you. - i haven't seenyour way yet.- no?
bruce... albertmay be dying. you son of a bitch!you say another wordabout him! relax. and you. you have no rightbeing on this board unless you put pressure on your friend the mayor. that's why i asked youto join us in the first placeand you know it. - ben: no, no,i'm not gonna do that.- why not? no, you got yourfree legal workfrom my firm.
i'm not gonna beon your boardof directors. it's onlyfor the stationery.you don't have to do a thing. that is just an evasion.if you thought - this was a straight disease--- nah, it's got nothing to dowith you being gay. what else does ithave to do with? one of these days,i'm gonna get youto agree that over 20 millionmen and womenin this country don't requirethe servicesof a psychiatrist. look, tryto understand.
you know, i read stuff,i see tv. guys in leatherand chains. dresses, high heels. i say to myself,"this isn't ned." you know the mediaalways dramatizesthe most extreme. you guyshave a dreadfulimage problem. that's whyit's so important to have people like yousupporting us. you already haveyour dignity.
ben:we better get to lunch.i've got an important meeting. do you?how important? i'm askingfor your support. in every areai consider important,you have my support. the only area that i consider important i don't haveyour support at all. in some place deep downinside you, you still thinki'm sick, don't you? i think you've adjustedto life pretty well.
- all things considered.- i saw how unhappyyou were. so were you! you wound upgoing to shrinks, too.we grew up side by side. we both felt the sameabout mom and pop. i'll agree to the factthat i have any numberof awful character traits, but not to the factthat whatever awfulthings they did to us made me sick and gaywhile you stayedstraight and healthy. we don't all reactthe same way to the thing. so you became a lawyerand i became a writer.
well, we have a differenceof opinion over theory. but your theoryturns me intoa man from mars. my theory doesn'tdo that to you. are you suggestingi did something wrong in sending youinto therapyso young? i didn't know youwere gonna staythere forever. i didn't thinkthat i'd had doneanything wrong until yousent me there. ben... you meanmore to me than anyonein the whole world.
- you always have.ben, you gotta say it.- say what? i'm the same as you.just say it. say it! no. you're not. i'm not gonna say it. every timei lose this fight,it hurts more. - i'm going home.- oh, come on, lemon. i still love you. sarah still loves you.
- the cat still loves you.- this is not a joke. you havemy love, my legal advice,my financial supervision. i can't give you the courageto stand up to me and say you don'tgive a flying fuckabout what i think. everybody's oppressedby somebody else in some formor another. most of us learnto fight against itdespite people's opinions without the helpof others. and stop trying to wringsome kind of admissionof guilt out of me.
agreeing that youwere born just thesame as i was born isn't gonna saveyour dying friends. that is exactly what is going to save my dying friends. - you make it soundlike i'm the enemy.- i am beginning to think that you andyour straight world are our enemy. i am furious with you! and every goddamndoctor who made me feel it was sickto love a man. i am tryingto understand
why nobody gives a shitthat we're dying! $5 million for a house?we can't even get27 cents from the city. i know 43 guyswho have died and you sayit's my cause not yours? you still think i'm sick! i simply cannot allow itfor one single second longer. i will not speakto you again until youaccept me as your equal! your healthy equal! your brother! ( sighs )
yeah, be carefulwith that, boys. - that is aprecious antique.- easy. i'm thinking we shouldput that in the grand salon. do we have a basement?that's where it should go. bella, i thinkit's time we moved yourfilthy mouth above ground. i'll decoratetomorrow. just shove it all in therethe best you can. oh.( purrs ) okay, knock it off,both of you.
( knocking at door )excuse me. - yes, hi.- hi. my nameis estelle and my best friendharvey died last night. we went everywheretogether, you know? like broadwayand the rockettes and ice skating. he wasa beautiful skater. i'm a klutz.
but he didn't care. we had so much fun. damn it,i wanna do something! even though all mylesbian friends say, "what have you guysever done for us?" but i don't care. this is for harvey. please... tell meyou can use mefor something. - ( sobbing )- oh.
i need a hotline director.you think you can do that? - i don't know how.- i don't either. let me buy youa cup of coffee - and we'll figurethis out, okay?- okay. - so, you want to set up here?- yeah, this is good.let's do it. - what are you doing?- man #1: we're from the nbc affiliate. - so?- this is the new gay men'shealth crisis office...? - who are you? - i'm bruce niles. i'm the president. i didn't sign anyconsent form for you tofilm me or this establishment.
- please turn it off and leave.- hey, now, don't touch my camera. - bruce: who sent you here? - man #1: somebody named ned. - weeks.- oh, great. you're here. ( knocking on door )anybody homo? son of a bitch. hello, is this thingrolling? look at this!we're in both of themthe same week. every major network and now finallyour very first office.
i wanna introduce youto our gay presidentwho's in the closet. and he's so handsome.don't ya think? such a very handsomecover boy going to waste. oh, great.now you fight. - great! fight, bruce.- you made me sound likea coward and i'm not a coward. you know what?you have nothing to lose. your brotherinvests for youso you have income. you can be gay24/7, ned,but i can't! i can't!so fuck you!
no, fuck you, bruce! man #2: oh, oh, oh. jesus. when i look at you,i am filled with despair. when i look at you,i worry we're not gonna win. how do you think thiscountry was founded? i thought i was gettingstarted with paul revere, not some coward. ned, look at me.look at me! look at me!
we are doomedif we do it your way. - doomed!- how are they goingto help us if they don't knowwho we are? they won't help us,ned, if they do. ( telephone rings ) hey, hey, hey!hey! come on. - man #2: holy shit. - man #1: shit! ( crashing ) ( telephone ringing )
( ringing continues ) okay,i'll get it, sure. hello?yeah, you areour very first call. how can i help you? i'm sorry, you havethe wrong number. you each gotta pullyour shit togethernow, okay? and you need to stopbeing such a fuckingdrama queen. god damn. this is estelle. hey.how's it going?
welcome. ♪ i could feel at the time ♪ ♪ there was no way of knowing ♪ ♪ fallen leaves in the night ♪ ♪ who can say where they're blowing? ♪ ♪ as free as the wind ♪ ♪ and hopefully learning ♪ ♪ why the sea on the tide ♪ ♪ has no way of turning ♪
♪ more than this ♪ ♪ there is nothing... ♪ well, we have four handsand two incomes. you're not gettingany younger, you know. all right, let'sleave my age out of this. ♪ tell me one thing ♪ ♪ more than this... ♪ - very beautiful, the country.- very quiet, the country. no, no.don't you dare!
i have to. you didn'tleave this numberon your machine. - you promised.- hello? i do think we shouldpicket the mayor. yes, i said thatand i stand by that.thank you. you promised. - ( telephone rings )- no, no, no, no, no.wait. ahem--"and every gay manwho is unable to come forward and fightto save his own life
is truly helpingto kill the rest of us." how many of us haveto die before you getscared off your ass and into action?thank you. who was that? i hear it's beingcalled the "ned weeksschool of outrage." i did speakto one of ourscience reporters. ned:what did he say? it turns out he's gayand he won't-- don't yell at me.
all those shrinks,they must have donesomething right. dr. ritvo, - dr. malev,- malev. dr. gillespie, - dr. patty,- ( laughing ) dr. maxene,dr. laverne. why does that haveto take so long? all you ever eatis desserts. sugar's the mostimportant thing in life.
all the restis just to stay alive. mm. agh! ( scoffs )shit. - felix: what?- the fucking board. they say i'm causinga panic, that i'm makingmyself a celebrity. not one of themwill be interviewedor appear on tv, so i do it allby default. and you'rebecoming a leader.
- and you love to fight.- i like to fight? moi? who, you? yeah. and you're havin'a great time. i am. it's funny, i neverwanted to be a leader. i'm not doing very well. it's sad how much timewe lost. we just weren'tready then. if i had it...
would you leave me? i don't know. would youif i did? how do you know? because my motherran the local chapterof the red cross. she put me to workin the bloodmobilewhen i was eight. i'm not programmedfor anything else. ned, i have somethingto tell you. - you're finally pregnant.- ( chuckling )
i was married once. you nevertold me that. yeah, i-- she said i had beenunfair to her, which i had been. - i have a son.- you have a son. - she won't let me see him.- you can't see your own son? but didn't you fight? that meansyou're ashamed.
so he will be, too. this is whyi didn't tell you.who says i didn't fight? ned? what happens to peoplewho can't be as strongas you want them to be? weakness scaresthe shit out of me! my father was weak,and i'm afraid i'll belike him. his life didn't standfor anything and thenit was over. so i fight,constantly. and if i can do it,i can't understand
why everybody elsecan't do it, too, okay? wait, whereare you going? felix!where you going? felix.i didn't mean anythingby that, felix. i-- i-- i'm scaredof... lots of things. really. heights.i never told youi'm terrified of-- what? it keeps gettingbigger and bigger. it doesn'tgo away.
felix? who, may i ask,is felix? i've never beenso in love in my life. never been inlove in my life. tell him to cometo see me first thingtomorrow, 7:30. - ned, god damn it.- what are we supposed to do?not be with anybody ever? it's not as easyas you might think. oh, em,i'm sorry. don't be.
how'd you get it? i wasfive years old. a woman from the bahamascame to our town carryingthe polio virus. she...stayed with friends. their kid was inmy kindergarten class. four of us inthat class got polio. i was all dressed upin my halloween costume to go trick-or-treating
and my motherfelt my forehead,put me to bed. in the middle of the night,i realized my whole body except my armsand my hands were paralyzed. i was crying outfor my mother. "i can't move,i can't move." they rushed meto the hospital, were told i'd be deadin 24 hours. i fought.i lived. were you inan iron lung?
i was. then i wasin bed at home. i was connectedto my class withthis little... - little loudspeaker.- ( chair motor whirring ) all the children were required to visit me. we would say,"hello," and then not knowwhat to say next. they were allterrified of me. still are.
i scare the shit out of people. the "holy terror" in a wheelchair. i'm scaringpeople, too. learn how to use it. don't need everybody'slove and approval. ned, your organizationis... worthless. i can't get anyoneimportant on the board. i've seen over 300 patients.me. one doctor. all these guys who mademillions off of us...
fashion, rock, movies,real estate, forget it. and any time brucedoesn't agree with me, - he puts itto a board vote.- and you lose. i can't pass alongsex recommendations or any informationthat isn't 100% certain. nothing is 100% certainin science. it wouldn't matterwhat you say anyway. don't yell at mefor what i'm not doing. - what the fuckis your side doing?- i don't know!
where's your a.m.a.? does being jewishalways make you hungry? i don't know.i'm not jewish. i'm german. - everybody thinksyou're jewish.- i know. in medicineit helps. you stayed in bedthe whole waythrough school? by college i hadmy first braces and i could walk--a little.
i don't walkso good anymore. probablybecause i'm toobusy to practice. you must practice. right now.i mean it. right now.c'mon. don't scratchmy mathis. ( record crackles ) may i havethis dance? ( snorts )
okay.you asked for it. ♪ chances are ♪ - ♪ 'cause i wear that silly grin... ♪ - my crutches. ♪ the moment you come into view ♪ ♪ chances are you think ♪ ♪ that i'm in love with you ♪ ♪ just because ♪ ♪ my composure sort of slips ♪ - mm-mm. i got it.- ♪ the moment that your lips meet mine... ♪
- oh--!- okay? okay. mm-hmm.( chuckles ) ♪ ...you think my heart's your valentine ♪ ♪ in the magic of moonlight ♪ ♪ when i sigh, "hold me close, dear" ♪ ♪ chances are you believe... ♪ i'm afraid to leavehim alone now. i'm afraid a curewon't come in time. i'm afraidof my anger.
- i'm a terrible leader and--- a lousy dancer. put me back. ♪ ...the one and only one for me ♪ - ♪ and if you think you could... ♪ - ( clattering ) ♪ well, chances are your chances are ♪ awfully good... ♪ polio is a virus, too. ♪ the chances are ♪ - ♪ your chances are...♪ - nobody gets polio anymore. ♪ awfully good. ♪
( door latch clicks ) ( light buzzes ) where is he?we've been herefor an hour and a half. who are these people?we're in a fuckingdungeon here. he can't do this to us.he cannot do this to usand get away with it. - did you start?- no. - okay, god, hi.- hi. jesus christ,what a tomb. do they not want usto be seen above ground?
and where is he?i'm an hour late. - ned: hour and a half.- don't start on me, lamb chop. - tommy, where were you?- i was up at bellevue. had to puta sweet dying childtogether with his mama. ( sighs )they hadn't seeneach other for 15 years. he never told herhe was gay. he didn't want to see her.he refused to see herfor weeks. oh, he was angrywhen i waltzed inwith her. it was a real weeper.mama holding her son.
he's dead now. - ( door opens ) - ( man sighs ) i'm truly sorry i'm late.i'm hiram keebler. hello. are you relatedto the folks who makethe crackers? i'm kidding.i'm tommy boatwright. ned weeks. bruce niles.i'm the president. the mayorwants you to knowhow much he cares and how impressedhe is with how you'vebeen shouldering
your ownresponsibilities. - thank you.- ned: thank you? responsibilities?everything we're doing is the stuff you guysshould be doingand we need help. uh, what mr. weeksis trying to say, sir, is that...we're swamped. we're fieldingover 500 calls a dayon our emergency hotline. and we're providinginformation that,quite frankly, the city should beproviding, and isn't.
sir, we need office space.we have one small room. we have over 100 peoplecalling or walking inand out every day, and plus it's real hardwhen people don't wantto rent to us - because we're--- whoa. that's illegaldiscrimination. yeah, we know thatto be true, sir. mr. keebler, it is notillegal to discriminateagainst homosexuals. we've beenwaiting for 14 monthsto see the mayor. it's taken us a yearto get this meetingwith you. you're an hour and a half late.have you told the mayorthere's an epidemic going on?
- uh, says who?- the government. which government?what? our government? - an epidemic?- the centers for diseasecontrol declared it-- - 17 months ago.- you can't notknow this! could you please reduceyour level of hysteria? certainly. new york city,san francisco,los angeles, chicago, boston,denver. every singlemajor american city is now showing cases.
at least 25foreign countries.but new york city, our home,the city that you havepledged to protect has more than halfof everything. half the cases,half the dead. i know 57 of the dead ones.i don't wanna know any more. now, when do weget to see the mayor? 14 months is a long timeto be out to lunch. - you wait a minute.- no, you wait a minute.we can't. time is noton our side.
now, if you won'ttake word to the mayor,what are we gonna do? hire a hunky hustlerand send him up togracie mansion with a pleatattooed to his cock? - mayor koch is not gay!- tommy: oh, come on,"blanche." listen. don't you thinki want to help you? i have a friendwho is dying of this shit, right nowin the v.a. hospital. but it's very tricky.you can see that.it is very tricky.
tricky, shit!there are a milliongay people in new york. a million and onecounting you! you know what?a fire goes outin a school furnace on the west side.i get 3,000 callsin one day. you knowwhat i mean? if so many of youare so upset, why do ionly hear from this loudmouth? - that's a very good question.- okay, so there arehalf a million gay men in our area.315 cases doesn'tseem too high, consideringhow many of us--of you there are.
- this is bullshit!- ned, please. look, i understandthis is tricky, sir. - but we need your help, we--- i think, that is, thatthe mayor thinks you guys areoverreacting. you tell that cocksuckerhe is a selfish, heartlessson of a bitch! you aremichael r. marcus.you hold an unsecurejob with the city'sdepartment of health. i'd watch outfor your friendsif i were you. ( slaps )
i don't believethat just happened. mickey, i am goingon "the today show"tomorrow and i am telling them that the mayor justthreatened your jobto shut us up. "the today show"?you're gonna what? they are treating uslike shit and we'reallowing them. no, politicians,the only thing they reallyrespond to is pressure. you heard him with his"3,000 west side calls." we're not yellingloud enough!
( door closes ) get your stuff. ( door closes ) ( typewriter clicking, telephone ringing ) - this is tommy.- ned: tommy, it's ned. - hey.- nick died. shit. god damn. i'll call later when i know more about the memorial.
tommy: i have this tradition. it's something i do now when a friend dies. i save his rolodex card. what am i supposed to do? throw it away in the trash can? ( scoffs ) i won't do that. no, i won't. that's too final. last year i hadfive cards.
now i have 50. a collectionof cardboard tombstones, bound together with a rubber band. i hate these fuckin' funerals. i really do. and you knowwhat else i hate? i hatethe memorials. that's oursocial life now. going tothese things.
nick wasa choreographer. i don't knowif any of you knew that. he was just starting out. he didn't tell a lot of people. - ( sobbing )- he was waiting to invite you to his big debut at carnegie hallor some shit so we couldall be proud of him. but he was so good. he had such promise. we're losingan entire generation.
young menat the beginning. just gone. choreographers,playwrights, dancers, actors. all those plays that won'tget written now. all those dancesnever to be danced. in closing, i'm justgonna say i'm mad. i'm fuckin' mad. i keep screaming inside,"why are they lettingus die?"
"why is no onehelping us?" and here's the truth. here's the answer. they just don'tlike us. ( faint sobbing ) ( bell ringing ) ( music plays faintly ) ♪ ...so i was walkin' down the street with a stick in my hand ♪ ♪ then i saw a bunch of gang members... ♪
( announcer speaking on p.a. ) ( door signal beeps ) ♪ ...i said "listen up, fellas, i ain't into that" ♪ ♪ i put my hands in my pockets like... ♪ ( train rumbling ) ( wheels screeching, clattering ) i'm going to beat this. i've always been lucky. good. that'sthe right attitude.
i wanted a job onthe "times," i got it. i wanted ned. have i given itto ned? one personhas a cold, sometimes the partnercatches it, sometimes not. ( light buzzing ) some doctorsare saying it's okayif we use condoms. i know they are. - can we kiss?- felix.
you have nothingto fight back with. you have no immune systemto speak of. your body is now opento every conceivabletype of infection. you mustbe careful. i'm going to domy damnedest, so must you. i bet you say thatto all the boys. as a matter of fact, i do. ( felix groaning )
oh, god. oh. ( panting ) ned: once upon a time there was a little boy who always wanted to love another little boy. one day he finally found that love and it was wonderful. i'm supposed to use gloves. i'm supposed to do this. i'm supposed to do that. i'm supposed to not kiss him.
- i'm so sorry.- i'm not supposed to be only 45 years old and taking care of a 35-year-old young man who's 100 years old and dying. ( splattering ) emma calls it a seesaw. he's fine, he gets sick, he gets better... he gets sicker. god help me.( sobbing )
he's afraid i'll leave him. i told him i wouldn't leave him. that i never for one second would think of leaving him. but he doesn't believe me. it's hard to believe in much these days. but we must neverstop believing in each other. i'm a mess. that's what i am. you cry and you cry until you think can't cry anymore and then you cry some more.
not only for yourself or felix, but for all the little boys who finally found their other little boys they've wanted all their lives now that we're men. ( telephone ringing ) - g.m.h.c.- ( phones ringing ) estelle speaking.how may i assist you? someone needs a will! - where's ned?i want to speak to him.- he's in the back. - here, give himthis number.- thank you.
- g.m.h.c.- g.m.h.c. tommy, i think i got usmaybe four qualified social workersto volunteer. - they're all lesbians.- thank god for the lesbians. - ( chuckling )- your anus? oh, planet uranus. thank you for sharing. mickey, whyaren't you in rio? i put the phones on service.you guys should get some rest.
we don't wantany burnouts. tommy:good night, phil.thank you. night, honey. - bye, baby.- good night, sweetheart. - good work today.- ( voices overlapping ) phil gotdiagnosed today. mickey, why aren't youon vacation in rio? i was in rio.gregory... and i were in rio.
i get a callfrom hiram's office saying i should bein his office right awayfirst thing this morning. from rio?what kind of meeting? i get to city hall,hiram keeps me waitingforever. and finally the commissionercomes out and he says that hiram doesn't wantto see me anymore. i wanted to scream,"i haven't slept in two days,you dumb fuck." but i didn't.instead i said, "please, sir, then...
why did he make me comeall the way back from rio?" and he says,"oh, i'm afraid he didn'ttake me into his confidence." and he walks off. ned's article attackinghiram just came out. i'm not goingto lose my job becausened doesn't like himself. what's that,mick? you keep trying to getus to say things thatwe don't wanna say and i don't thinkwe can afford to make so many enemiesbefore we have enough friends.
terry spaulding iscalling all of his friends from under his oxygen tankto say goodbye. tibby maurer took an overdose. hal schechter has got stumps for feet. - frannie santuzza'slost his mind!- will you stop it? just stop! - tommy: mickey, you all right?- i don't think so. why can't they findthe virus? baby, it takes time. i workall day for the citywriting stuff on...
breast-feedingversus formula and how to stay calmwhen you have herpes. and at night i workon our newsletter and ourhealth column for the "native." i just-- i can'ttake it anymore. i have writtenabout every single theory. repeated infectionby a virus. new appearanceby a dormant virus. single virus, new virus,old virus, multi-virus,partial virus, - latent virus, mutant virus--- tommy: take it easy, honey.
no, we mustn't forgetabout fucking and sucking and kissingand blood and voodoo and drugs and poppersand needles and africa,haiti, cuba, blacks, amoebas, pigs,fucking uranus! - what if it isn'tany of them?- i don't know. the great plague of londonwas caused by drinkingwater from a pump that just nobody--nobody noticed it. maybe it's predispositionor the theory of the herd--
only so many of usare going to get it,then the pool's used up. what if it's monogamy?bruce, you and i could actually be worse off because ofconstant bombardmentfrom a single source-- our lovers. so maybe the guyswho go to the baths, maybe they've built upthe best immunity. i don't know whatto tell anybody anymoreand everybody asks me. who's right?i don't know.
who's wrong?i feel... i feel so fuckinginadequate. how can we tell people,"stop"? ( stammers )it's just-- i don't--it might be caused by-- i don't know.i don't know. that's exactlyhow i feel. and maybe he's right. and that scares me. neddy, you scare me.
you really thinkthe president... that he wants this to happen?you really think the cia has unleashedgerm warfare to kill off all the queersthat jerry falwell doesn't want? - mick. try to hold on.- to what? i used to lovemy country. the "native" receivedan anonymous letter describing top-secret defensedepartment experimentsat fort detrick, maryland... that have produceda virus that can destroythe immune system.
its codenamewas "firm hand." they started testing itin 1978 on a group of gays. i never used to believeshit like that-- they're gonnapersecute us! they're gonna cancelour health insurance, they're gonnaput us into camps,they're gonna quarantine us. and you thinkthat i'm killing people? - that is not what i said.- it is, you knowyou said it. i've spent 15 yearsof my life
fighting for our rightto be free and to make lovewherever, whenever. and you're telling meall those years of what being gay stood foris wrong! and that i'm a murderer. we have been so oppressed.don't you remember? can't you seehow important it isfor us to love openly, without hiding,without guilt? ( sobbing )why can't you see that?
- i went to the top ofthe empire state building.- okay, i'm taking you home. you can jump off from therewhen nobody's looking. tommy: all right, mickey, let's go home. right now. ned, i'm not a murderer.i'm not. all my life i've beenhated for being gay, for being short... jewish. so go ahead,you tell everybody. tell everybody that wewere wrong and i'm sorry.
someday, somebody'sgonna come along and they're gonnastick the knife in you and tell youeverything you fought foryour whole life is shit! mickey! mickey! get up! - get up. come here.- it's okay. come on. i'm gonna take youhome now, okay? i don't wanna go home.take me to st. vincent's.
okay. that's fine.come. let's go. look, we're allreal tired, you hear me? we got ourselves herea lot of bereavementoverload. we're the fighters.aren't we? - we're the fi--- you bet, sweetness. and you're a hero.you hear me? you're a herowhether you knowthat or not. you're our firsthero. you wanna bepresident?
i just want felixto live. gay men'shealth crisis. hiram, old buddy.how's it hanging? - you ready?- yeah. the mayor's founda secret little fund for giving away moneysecretly. we are not allowedto tell anyone wherewe got it, and if we do,we'll never getany more. - how much?- $9,000.
albert's dead. his mother wantedto see him in phoenixbefore he died. and this wasthe last week,when it was obvious. so i got permissionfrom emma and took himto the airport. bruce: and when we got to the airport, the pilot refused to fly the plane. so i refused to get off of it. you would have been very proud of me, ned. so finally we get another pilot
and when we take off, albert just loses his mind. i don't wanna bein this thing. - it's okay.- i don't wannabe in this-- - i'm just gonna go.- no, albert. i don't wanna-- - bruce: albert. - man: tell him to sit down. ( passengers murmuring ) - bruce: i'm sorry.- sir, sir, you haveto keep seated.
- man: sit down up there. - sir, have a seat. you have to-- ( screaming )no! - sir--- stop! - ( grunting )- attendant: sir! we gottasit down, okay? bruce: he doesn't recognize me. it's me. it's me. bruce: doesn't know where we're going. - we're almost home.- that we're going to see his mother
in phoenix-- nothing. - he just becomes... - ( retching ) oh, shit.can i get a goddamntowel, please? bruce: when we land in phoenix and when we get to the hospital where his mother had fixed up the room real nice... albert is dead. the hospital doctors refused to examine him and give him a cause of death on his death certificate. without the death certificate, the undertakers will not take him.
- and neither would the police. - come on, man. pull it down. finally someorderly comes inand stuffs my albert in an oversizedglad garbage bag and puts him in thealley with the restof the garbage. i did you a favor, man.i got him out. i want 50 bucks. ( whining ) ( mother wailing ) ( screaming )
- is that all of him?- yep. you want him?$3,000. he's gone.he's gone. gone. ( gasping )oh, god. ned: "i am telling you they are murdering us and we are letting them. - we're gonna die." - ( coughing ) "we're gonna die very soon,
unless you get off your fucking asses and fight back." emma's in therewaiting. come on, two bites.come on, now. - no.- don't make mebreak out the yogurt. - one more.- have you talkedto your brother yet? i remember thatabout you. you don't talkto the people youlove most in the world. you want me to getbetter and i'm notgetting better and i feelso fucking guilty.
you have a lunch meetingwith bill blass on friday. - fancy.- mm... i'm callwith my regrets. - what are you doing?- making a date with youtwo months from now. i've been invitedto speak at yale'sgay week. and we're going.remember how i told you theyhave those dances there now? you're my date. i want youto live so much. i'm not supposedto say that.
oh, please, god.give us one more year. i promisei'll eat my spinach. emma: i am taking care of more victimsof this disease than anyone in the world. we have more frozen blood samples, more data of every kind, and much more experience. dr. brookner,the government'sposition is this.
there are $5 millionin the pipeline forwhich we have received over $55 millionworth of requests. 5 million doesn'tseem quite rightfor some 2,000 cases. the government spent3 million investigatingseven deaths from tylenol. - we're enteringthe third year.- we voted to reject your applicationfor funding. oh? i'd like to hearyour reasons. the directionof the researchyou're suggesting
is impreciseand unfocused. oh, it is, is it? you don't know what'sgoing on any more than i do. could you tell me precisely why you'reblocking my efforts? dr. brookner.there are now otherinvestigators. this is no longer only your disease, though you seem to think it is. oh, i do, do i? and you're hereto take it away from me,is that it? well, i'll let you inon a little secret, doctor.
you can have it.i didn't want itin the first place. you think it's a privilegeto watch young men die? what am i arguingwith you for? you do not know enoughto study boiled water. how dare you come down hereand judge me?! we only serve on thispeer review panel atthe behest of dr. murray. another idiot--and, by the way,a closeted homosexual doing everythingin his power to sweepthis under the rug. and i vowed i'd neversay anything like thatin public.
how does italways happen that all of the idiotsare always on your team? how can you refuseto fund my research or not invite meto participate in yours? your national institutesof health received my first requestfor money two years ago. it took youone year just to print upapplication forms. it's taken youthree years from myfirst reported case just to show up herefor a look, and the paltryamount of money
you are forcing usto beg for out of the $4 billion you now receiveeach and every year to protect the healthof american people won't come to anyone before only god knows when. a promising virus has beendiscovered in france. why do you refuseto cooperate with the french? why are we told not to cooperatewith the french? just so you can steala nobel prize while something is beingpassed around thatcauses death!
women have been discoveredto have it in africa where it is clearlytransmitted heterosexually. it is only a questionof time. we could all be deadbefore you do anything. you want my data?you want my ideas? you want my patients?take them! ( screams )just do somethingwith them! you're fucking right!i am... imprecise and unfocusedand you are all idiots!
- dick: did you organize thatpicketing of the mayor?- ned: yes. - and the signs?- yes. and your next playis about a first lady - who gave the bestblow jobs in hollywood.- yes. - this place is perfectfor our new office.- yes. so tidy. here. i got him. come on.let's get youback to bed.
here you go. estelle made yousome stuffed cabbagefor later. ned: there's this new drug in paris. kessler's loveris flying out to get it. here it is.hpa-23. - he looks awful.- you think thisis anything or is it justanother shit druglike all the rest? i think you needto prepare yourselffor letting go. you can'tstop fighting forthe ones you love.
haven't you ever hadto fight for somebodyyou love? tommy. you gottastart puttingyourself out there in a waythat everyone elsecould see what i see. what kindof a fucked-uplove scene is this? yes? yes, ma'am? 4:30 tomorrow? yes, ma'am. the fucking white house.
fuck the mayor.i've just been invitedto the white house. they're gonna dosomething! ned: oh, just so i understand, what exactly does your title mean in terms of our plague? we prefer notto use negative terms.it only scares people. well, there's3,339 cases so far. 1,122 dead. sounds likea plague to me.i'm scared.
aren't you? what does yourtitle mean again? i come up with ideasfor the president about what he ought to bedoing and not doing. okay, good. got it. so, the money's there, right?it just hasn't been spent. so there's thisnew drug in france. why doesn'tthe n.i.h. study it? i mean, what iwant, what we want,what we desperately need
is for somebodyto help us cut throughall this red tape. i can assure youthat not a week goes by that i don't bringnew information and reportsto the president. the progress that's beenmade on this disease - is unprecedented.- but it's contagious. can't you seethat because it'scontagious, ( stammers )you-- you have towork faster? do you really believethat anybody in a serious publicpolicy position in theirheart of hearts
or even in their mostcloseted meetings says to each other,"hey, guys, let's not get too upsetabout this"? yes, your boss hasn'tsaid the word "aids"out loud. answer methis one question. this shit, can...can hookers get it? or, you know,someone who hada one-night stand? - of course.- you can't prove that. i mean,from what i understand,what i've read,
female-to-maletransmissionsthrough normal vaginal intercoursedoes not seem to bevery efficient. that simplyisn't true. it's a virus,it doesn't discriminate. yes, but-- it's verydifficult.isn't it? it's almostimpossible for astraight, you know, regular heterosexualguy to get it,am i right? - i'm sorry?- there's no documentedcases, am i right?
there's not a singledocumented case of a heterosexual mangetting it? not from fucking or a blow job? i don't havethat information. great, that'swhat i thought. susan,call my meeting. i'll be about15 minutes late. thanks. - thank you so much.- wait, please. - call me anytime.- sir. wait.
( yelling )100 million predicted and nobody is payingany attention! hi, i need securityon the second floor. ( door creaks ) why you sittingon the floor? i fell downtrying to getfrom there to here. oh, don'ttouch me! god. ( sighs sharply ) i hate itwhen you look at me.
you hungry?i'm hungry, how about you? i looked in allmy datebooks. no one else islept with is sick. maybe you'rethe carrier. we don't haveto do this to each other. you're gonna getbetter, felix.you are. emma says the n.i.h.is finally startingresearch. - we have to hope.- oh, do we? - yes, we do.- do we? and how am isupposed to do that?
huh? stop eatingthat shit! - give it to me.- no! you know howimportant it is towatch your nutrition. i havea life expectancyof 10 more minutes. i'll eatwhat i wanna eat. ( groans ) it's getting messier.okay? i don't wannamake you see it.
nobody can make medo anything. you should knowthat better thananybody. now you gonnasit there on the floorfor the rest of your life? - do you hear me?- do you hear me? - no! - no? i've had over40 treatments. no? i've had three--no, four differentkinds of chemo. no! i've had three different experimentals. emma has spent more timeon me than anyone else.
and it hasn'tdone a thing! you cannot forcethe goddamn sunto come out! i am so sickof fighting and everybody'sstupidity and blindnessand guilt trips. you can'teat the food?don't eat the food. i don't care.take your poison,i don't care. fish is goodfor you. don't want anyof that, do we?
no green salad! no broccoli!no vegetables! no bread withseven grain! why would anyoneever want any milk? - you might get somecalcium in your bones!- ( yelps ) - ( crashes )- do you wanna die, felix? die! ( sobs ) ( whimpers )please don'tleave me, felix.
( crowd chanting ) keep out! keep out! keep out!keep out! keep out! keep out! keep out! keep out! - keep out!- ( grunts ) assholes. gay men's health crisis. - thrush is a fungus, yes.- can you tell him thatwe'll be picketing there and not afraid of arrestor police brutality.
- gay men's health crisis. - that's right. the mayor has four morehours before we carry out our threatsof civil disobedienceif he doesn't meet with us. tommy got the callyesterday, ned. why didn't youtell me?! you see,it works! - when? when? - only two can go to the meeting, ned. - when?- tommy'sexecutive director. i'm going.
- i polledthe fucking board, ned.- i wrote that letter to the mayor.that meeting is mine. i am going to goand represent thisorganization that i have spentevery minute of mylife fighting for and that was startedin my living room or i quit. you'd let me quit? the board asked meto read this outloud to you. - read what?- a letter.
go on, read it. "we are circulatingthis letter widelyamong people of judgmentand good sense. you are ona colossal ego tripwe must curtail. to manipulate fearas you have donerepeatedly is to us,sheer barbarism. to exploit the deaths of gay men as you have done on televisionand in publicationsall over america is to us, an actof vandalism.
and after years of liberation, you helped make sex dirty again for us-- terribleand forbidden. we are moreangry at you than ever in our livestoward anyone. we think you want to lead us all. well... we do not want youto lead us. in accordance with ourbylaws as drawn upby weeks, frankel,
levinstein, mr. ned weeksis hereby removed as a director of gay men's health crisis. we beg that youleave us quietly and not destroy usand what good workwe manage despite yourdisapproval. effectiveimmediately." ( door bangs ) tommy: ned.
the executive directorisn't on the board,you know that. i don't have a vote. ( stammers ) what could-- what could i have done? - you didn't support me.- that's not true. you're all nothingbut undertakers. this whole organizationis a funeral parlor. - ned--- all you do istake care of the dying. who's fightingso the living cango on living? who's fightingfor my felix?
tommy.we need youupstairs. i belong to a culturethat includes marcel proust, walt whitman,tennessee williams,alexander the great, so manypopes and cardinalsyou wouldn't believe. mr. green beret,did you know that it wasan openly gay englishman who's responsiblefor winning world war ii? his name's alan turingand he cracked thegermans' enigma code. after the war was over,he committed suicide because he was sohounded for being gay.
why didn't they teach any of that in schools? a gay man is responsiblefor winning world war ii! if they did, maybehe wouldn't havekilled himself and you wouldn'tbe so terrifiedof who you are. that's how i wantto be remembered. as one of the menwho won the war. bruce, i knowthat i am an asshole. but pleasedon't shut me out. go.
your brother and iare lovers. i'm dying and i needto make a will. - please.- thank you. i want to leaveeverything to ned. - how's my brother?- well, he blameshimself for everything from my dyingto the state ofthe entire world. all that plus you twostill not talking. you must beas stubborn as he is. i'll call himright away.
do. he's at homepacking. we're going to yalein a few days. for gay week.( chuckles ) he says he can'tbelieve it. he tried to killhimself there whenhe was a freshman. i haven't much... except for a beautifulpiece of land on the capein wellfleet. ned doesn't knowabout it.
it was to have beena surprise for when welived there together or riding awayhappily ever after. i also havean insurance policy, uh... with the "times."i'm a reporter... for "the new york times." it's meant to cometo my next of kin. i'm afraid they mightnot give it to him. well, if he's listedas a beneficiary,they must.
you're smarter than that.don't be so naive. i assure you,i will fight to makesure that they do. i was hopingyou'd say that. ( coughing ) felix... i wishwe'd met sooner. ( distant siren wails ) ( faintly )i should be wearingsomething white. you are, honey.
it should...it should be something perry ellisran up for mepersonally. ned? you find a wayto fight again. ned: i will. hey, hey, hey. ( whimpers ) emma. emma...? could we... could westart now, please?
"we are gathered herein the sight of god to join togetherthese two men. they love each other very much and... want to be marriedin the presenceof their family and friends. i see no objection. do you, felix turner, - take ned weeks..."- alexander. yeah.
- "to be your..." - my great true love. i do.i do. i do. i do. ( telephone rings ) this is tommy. thanks forletting me know. ♪ ...i know your part'll go fine ♪ ♪ fly down to mexico ♪ ♪ da-n-da-da, da-n-da-da and here i am ♪
♪ the only living boy in new york ♪ ♪ i get the news i need on the weather report ♪ ♪ oh, i can gather all the news i need ♪ ♪ on the weather report ♪ ♪ hey, i've got nothing to do today but smile ♪ ♪ do-da, da-do-da here i am ♪ ♪ half of the time we're gone, but we don't know where ♪ ♪ and we don't know where ♪ ♪ ah... ♪
♪ here i am ♪ ♪ tom, get your plane right on time ♪ ♪ i know that you've been eager to fly now ♪ ♪ hey, let your honesty shine, shine, shine now ♪ ♪ da-n-da-da, da-n-da-da ♪ ♪ like it shines on me ♪ ♪ the only living boy in new york... ♪ ♪ here i am. ♪ ( instrumental music playing )
No comments:
Post a Comment