[plunger sloshing] [cell phone ringing] - hello? dad, your tv is not broken. you probably just hit the wrongbutton on the remote again like yesterday, remember? just hit the cable buttonand press "on." would you try it? did you take your medsthis morning?
well, check the pillbox. is the little compartment thatsays "thursday morning" empty? well, good, so you alreadytook 'em. [phone beeps] dad, dad, can i call youright back? i got a call coming in. dad, you said you didn't needcaller i.d. because all your friendswere dead. all right, we'll get youcaller i.d.
can i call you right back? okay. [beeps] hey. this is my weekend. okay, uh, fine. um, i can drop him off.do you want me to drop him off? okay, fine,then you pick him up. [upbeat ukulele music]
♪ ♪ [farting noise] - just relax. nothing to worry about-- unless you feel two handson your shoulders. [exhales deeply] have any trouble urinating? - no.no, just stopping. i dribble.
- getting up more than usualat night to go to the bathroom? - no, not really. - [sighs] okay. well, your prostate doesseem a little...generous. - generous? [knock on door] [dog barks] - hey.- hey. - thanks for swapping weekends.
- it's good to see you. - listen, i haven't had a chanceto go to the store yet, i've been so busy, so do you think you can give mesome food for him tonight? - sure, yeah. - oh, hello, freddie boy. good boy.that's a good boy. thanks. - so...not good to see me?
- please don't. - come on, "e."i mean, this is stupid. just 'cause some marriagecounselor says that we have-- - what's changed? 3 1/2 weeks, what's changed? - fred's all fucked up. he doesn't know where he ishalf the time. - don't put the dogin the middle of this. we agreed to try thisfor three months,
and that's what we're goingto do, period. - okay, fine. i'm putting a reel together,though. i'm going to have to comeby the house, grab some-- - really, what's the pointof a trial separation if you constantly come upwith these excuses to drop by the house? - i just thought if i went backto work-- - we made a deal.
- well, we made a deal for youto feed the dog too. it'd be nice if you could findsome time in your busy fucking scheduleto do that. - okay.come on, freddie. [siren wailing] - jessica wants to see you. - yo.dodge, my man. - hey, dan.- hey, thanks. - for what?- swoosh.
- can you explain to me why danhas to wear a wool cap when it's 85 degrees? - listen, i need to talkto you-- - do you have an i.c.e. number?- jon-- - in case of emergency contact,who do you write down? - [sighs]my mother. - oh, right.of course. - so, jon--- so, jess, listen. what are you up tothis weekend?
- why are you asking?- i don't know. just been thinking about youlately. - don't.- why not? - 'cause that was the darkestperiod of my life. - come on. let's blowout of here this weekend. i'll take you to la quinta. - that's not going to happen,jon. - why? - okay, listen,i need to talk to you.
nike called. - yeah, so? - so they want dan to cutthe second series. - [laughs] what? - they want dan to cutthe second series. - what do you mean they want danto cut the second series? - well, he's kind of the hotnew kid on the block now. they like him. - where's jonny?
well, get a load of this. - what is he doing here? - where the hell have you been? i've been trying to call youall morning. - i had an appointmentthis morning. are you all right? - i'm fan-fucking-tastic. vodka for everyone. - well, is there any left?
- hey, man,what are you doing here? - well, i need to get my reeltogether again. and since i'm apparently notallowed in my own home anymore, i figured you must have one ofmine laying around here, right? - ah, don't count on it.we're yesterday's news. they've got dan the man now. - dan?he's 12. - well, he just booked nike. - dan booked your nike?
- mm-hmm. - this is crazy.i could have driven. - your car is so tight. - drive by my house.- no. - yes.- no, adam. i'm not going to drive byyour house. - drive by my house. - you don't want erin to see youin this frame of mind. - well, how do you knowshe's going to see me?
- would you--would you havesome dignity? - ow. [dog barking] - i think this is the beginningof the end. - no. this is the endof the beginning. this is the beginningof a new beginning. i, uh...i had a thought. [engine turns over]
- always cause for alarm. jon, i get what you'retrying to do, but i don't want to goto palm springs. - there's no buts right now. did barry gibb havea garage sale? - my mother bought me that. i'm not wearing that either. - all right, fine. you want to hang yourselfin the closet?
go ahead. plenty of room in there now. i'll get out of your hair. hey, man, all you ever tell meis how miserable you are, how you can't rememberthe last time you woke up happy. if you ask me,this is an opportunity. you, me, holiday weekend, doing it the way we did itin the old days. teeing it up,cocktails,
[cuban accent]looking at the chickies, baby. come on. [bluesy rock music] [engine turning over] you can't go back to beingan editor just to try and saveyour marriage. - well, people don't changecareers at 50-fucking-2. i don't know what i wasthinking--make a film. i can't even write the script.
- maybe you're just confused about the storyyou want to tell. did you ever think of that? - maybe i'm just not a writer. you ever think of that? no idea it was going to beso hard to be profound. - well, how far along are you? - "fade in." - no, really, how far?
- no, really."fade in." i'm a pimple on the assof humanity. i got nothing to sayabout anything. - [sighs] - what are you doing?- i'm getting off. - in rancho cucamonga? - yeah. if you're going to getall negative, i'm turning around.
[laughs] i don't think i ever told youabout becca, did i? my dental hygienist where i livein bev hills. rocking little body. took her out for a drinkone time, we end up back at her place. she pulls out this canisterof nitrous. woke up the next morningin her bed, naked, tied to the bedpost--
with dental floss. i think--i think it was mint. - we're stopping because... - because becca's got a friend, and you--you need to getyour teeth cleaned. - oh, no.- oh, yes. [rhythmic knocking on door] - oh, jon.- open wide. oh, becca, it's good to see you.you look--
- huge.i'm on steroids. i got the carpal tunnel.that's a long story. [snorts] - well, this is adam. - adam, come here. oh, jon has told meall about you. michelle! - hey, there, boys. okay, and breathe in,breathe in, breathe in.
hold it. hold it.hold it. hold it. let it out.let it out. look, look, look.let me see your teeth. - what?- open your mouth, baby. oh, you got to get ridof them fillings. that mercury can poison you. - will it kill me? - well, it can. - think i'll keep them.
- [gasps]oh, you poor baby. becca told me everything. i got divorcedwhen i was 17. and at 19.at 29. have you ever read a return to love, marianne williamson? i went to one of herweekend seminars. oh, my god. we did an in-depth studyof course in miracles. i was absolutely transformed.
i have to send you the linkto her website. yeah, change your lifein one weekend. poof. - [inhales deeply] - the good news is,i'm on disability. the bad news is, i just sitaround the house all day, watching soap operasand eating cherry bonbons. i'm a cow. - no, you're not.
- you're spending the night,right? 'cause i want to hurt you.- ow. - [laughs] - she is quoting somethingabout a course in miracles, telling me that it's my darknessi'm afraid of, not my light. - you know, she might not bewrong about that. - jon, if you don't get me outof here in the next five minutes, i am going in the bathroom,
and i am crawling outthe window. - adam, come on.- jon. hi, dad.everything okay? so there's no picture,but the tv's still on. you got to hit the "tv" buttonand then hit "off." all right, dad.good night. it makes sense. we were both seeing other peoplewhen we met. that's why she doesn't want mecoming by the house.
think she could be seeingsomeone? - [exhales deeply]look... you're separated. this is the timeyou should be seeing if you still want to betogether. if i were you,i would be out there. - what, fucking everythingthat walked? that's not what this separationis about. - [exhales deeply]
well, you brought it up,not me. - this is stupid. i can't havethis conversation with you. - then don't. you don't knowwhat i'm going through, 'cause you have no idea whatit's like to lose something. - what about jessica? - you guys fucked each otherfor a few months. - it was five months.- whatever.
you have no ideawhat commitment means. - i had a cat once. - a cat? - yeah.when i was eight. it died. besides, i lived throughmy parents' marriage. that was enough for me. - don't you worry about becominga lonely old man? - not as much as i worry
about becoming a miserablemiddle-aged one that has to split everything he's workedhis whole adult life for with some womanthat's cheating on him. - all right, you know,i'm turning out the light. - do you really think she couldbe seeing someone? hey, tiger, where you going?the marker's right here. - let's play from the tips. - at what age do i get to playfrom the white tees?
- come on.it's how you get better. - it's how i lose balls. [birds chirping] nice. how far is the water? - gotta carry 220. - great. - nothing like laying upon the first hole. - you know what?you're right.
fuck it. - that's the guy i remember. - yeah.fuck erin and... whoever she's talking toon the phone. fuck dan taking your nike. fuck it all. it'll all be therewhen we get back. - air it out, dude. plop!
- fuck. [lively blues music] - [cuban accent] okay, i sayfirst we get the monies. then we pretend we gotthe powers. and then we get the womens,man. - [cuban accent] okay, tony.whatever you say, man. - okay, manny. everybody say helloto the bad guys. - oh, i'm not a bad guy.
- oh, yeah. when i get through with you, you're going to be a bad guy. [muffled dance music] hey, man. it doesn't seem all that busyin there. [thumping club music] - look, you don't want usstanding in line. it's bad for business.
jon, no. - what? - come on, let's go. - i want to get a cocktail. - well, thenyou're doing it alone. i'm out of here.- come on, but it's skinny's. - fuck skinny'sand fuck the last place and fuck this bouncer. he's waiting for youto slide him 20 bucks
so we can get into thisshit hole and prove to ourselves how muchit's not happening. - what happened to you? remember "fuck it"? i thought we were supposedto be having fun here. - yeah, humiliating ourselvesin front of this guy is not fun. it's pathetic. - he's right, man. - fine, adam.what would make you happy?
- gentlemen, is there anythingelse i can bring you? - some geritol if you have it. - excuse me? - we're fine, thanks. what? there are women here. - that don't smell likemothballs? so who's the oldest womanyou were ever with? - my wife.
- before her. - a kid named tommy's mother. - mother?- yeah. i was just home from college. i was living with my folksin new york. took her dog for a walkin the park... - how old was she? - 40-something.- how old were you? - 22.- nice.
- funny thing is, i rememberleaving her brownstone, and i saw this pictureon the piano, and i realizedi just banged the mother of a kid i wentto high school with. i remember back then thinking40 was really old. - gentlemen, this is fromthe ladies at the bar. - that's throughout the swing? - well, you have to keepthe connectivity between the left bicepand the chest,
because if that breaks down, then your club facegets off plane, and you start manipulatingand overcompensating. the next thing you know,you're hitting it everywhere. - you know, i see vijay stickinga glove under his armpit. - oh, i know. i give that drillto all my students. - but what about creatingthat lag like sergio does? - oh, now, that boy is cute.
- yeah, he is. well, the thing aboutsergio's swing-- well, first of all, i mean, his shouldersrotate 140 degrees. - i think i got about60 degrees. - oh, i can fix that. i'm a retiredphysical therapist. - yeah, she is. um, but the best thingabout sergio's downswing is,
he waits. - what do you mean "waits"? - he waits until his handsdrop into the slot, and then he fires his hips. - oh, boy, does he.[laughs] - but, you see,he's kept his wrist cocked, so there's no release yet. - no release yet.ooh. - and, um, after his hipsfire through,
he's created tremendous lag, and then he unloads all thatenergy from his right side, and he just nails it. - hallelujah.[laughs] - you know, i can't hangon my right side. i have no cartilagein my knee. - ooh, well, just get thatreplaced, sweetie. - uh, you know, i don't thinki'm quite ready for that step. - i had my hip replacedlast year,
and believe you me,i am having no problems. [laughs] there is not a liei can't handle. [clicks tongue] waiter, can we get anotherbottle of champagne, please? - oh, you know,i don't think so. not for us. - uh, ladies, it's been great. we have really, reallyenjoyed this, but we do have an earlytee time in the morning.
- yeah, we're trying to get in36 tomorrow. - yeah.- but it's been fun. - okay, fine,drink our champagne, but then that's it. - come on, peggy,we're having a nice time here. please don't. - they are not going home. they just stopped infor the steak, and now they're going to go out
and see if they can getsome real meat. - no, no. really we are playing 36tomorrow. - hey, you don't think i knowwhat's what? believe me,your day is coming. you think i wanted my husbandto die? you think i like going to bedalone every night, waking up alone every morning? - let's go to the ladies room,okay?
- oh, bob.oh, bob. - i know. i know.i'm so sorry. - [sobbing] - good luck tomorrow. - check, please. don't look at me like that. if we weren't playing fromthe tips, we wouldn't be here. - well, did you have a lineon it? - pretty sure it went inaround here.
- yeah, well, why shouldthis one be any different than all the rest? i'm buying you a new driver. - it's got to be here. god! [engine rumbling] - so tell me, adam, what kind of driverare hitting there? - titleist, 975d.
- really? it's, like, ten years old. - my wife bought it for me. - then let her try and hit it. smack! what is your handicap? - i was a 10-9, but i haven'tplayed in about ten months. - so you're an 11? - 10.- whatever.
hey, look, even if you area 10, you know golf. one day you're puring it, the next day you can't hita cow's ass with a shovel. it's true.let me see that. what kind of shaft do you haveon this titleist? - 757 speeder stiff.- really? - yeah. why? - well, i mean, look at this. yeah, your swing speedis maxing out
at 87, 88 miles per hour. - my swing'snever been below 98. - well, what are you, 55? - 52. well, maybe it's timefor the senior flex. you know, put a little morewhip in your stick. there's only one driverout there i would useif i were you. follow me.
- you look lost. can i help you with something? - oh, no, i'm just looking. just waiting on a friendof mine. - golf weekend? - yeah, yeah.we're just up from l.a. - just the two of you? - so whose marriageis unraveling? - oh, come on.got to assume.
two guys out for the weekend,not getting the gay vibe. somebody's marriagemust be in trouble. - you're good.his. - holiday weekend, so instead of being withhis wife, he's with the single friend the soon-to-be ex-wifewas never that fond of, but it's okay because he wasnever really fond of her. - every time she had me overfor dinner,
she served liver and onions. - i'm alix. - i'm jon. - how old are you? - how old are you? - yes, that's whati'm talking about, huh? 220 carry on that one. what?am i going to lie to you? you have to trust me.
those adams are the most playedclubs on the senior tour. plus, i mean, look--it's a natural fit. it's got your nameright on it. - how's it going? - oh, hey.okay. larry here is having metry out the adams. - hmm, won't have to worryabout losing it. it's already got your nameon it. - told you.
- i'd like you to meet alix. - hey. adam.- hi. - alix invited us to join herand her roommate for dinner this evening. - what are we going to dowith a couple 25-year-olds? - you want me to draw youa picture? - they could be our daughters. - could be, but they aren't.this is a gift from god. - or an episode of to catch a predator.
- by the way, i'm gearing upto direct a feature film, from your original screenplay. - you didn't.- i did. - all right,then i am definitely out. you're on your own, skipper. - wait, what if i get bad newson tuesday? - bad news about what? - about anything. - what are you talking about?
- i'm talking about--i'm talkingabout being a friend, man. i'm talking aboutwhat if, you know, what if we went, like,camping or something and we went for a hike and you felland you broke your foot? you think i'd just leave youthere for the bears? no, i would pick your ass up, and i would carry you backto the tent. - what the hellare you talking about?
- i'm talking about havingeach other's back, man, and if you were inmy situation-- - what situation? - look, look,all i'm saying is that we could dietomorrow, man. - we could die camping? - i don't know. we could, you know,die however. all i'm saying is,let's live a little.
- jon, what is going on? - well, i'm serious, man. if you had this shot,i would step up for you. i would be there for you. - [sighs]okay, fine. - i would do it for you. - i said okay. - can you be happy about it? - yes.
be happy.whatever that is. - ooh. senior shaft my ass. - did i clear it? - i didn't see a splash. - that's good. - you lay on 3, though.- why? - teed up about 2 inchesin front of the tee marker. - fuck you.
this club really sucks,you know that? - get in the shower. - has no feel. - yeah, well, you fuckingair-mailed a 220 carry. you didn't do thatthe other day. ow. - i don't want to be swinginga senior shaft. - come on, we got a couplehard bodies waiting to swingour senior shafts.
- if i put that in my bag,it's the beginning of the end. - would you just forget aboutthe damn driver already and get in the shower? [water running] - so just in caseit comes up, what did you tell teen beat thisoriginal screenplay is about? - come on.don't get like that. - no, what's my film about? - it's a dark, introspectivepiece, all right?
semiautobiographical, that traces the descentof a married man into the arms of a womanhalf his age. - shut up. - take your wedding ring off. - why?- just take it off. - no.- take the damn ring off. - no.- give it to me. i just want to hold on to itfor you.
- you're not gonnafuck this up for me. - would you grow the hell up? - give me the goddamn ring. - you're such a baby. [doorbell rings] nice place for a girlworking at lumpy's. - maybe she's a trust-funder. - or a call girl. - hey.come on in.
- hey. great place. - yeah, it's my uncle'sgolf retreat. he lives in l.a. comes in, like,four times a year. so i've been living herewith my roommate. - cool.so where is your roommate? - she's finishing upsome homework. you guys want a drink?
- sure, sure.what have you got? - help yourselves. - can we get you something? - no, i'm good. i've got some winein the kitchen. hope everybody likesliver and onions. - that's very funny.- be right back. - what?- nothing. - what's the matter withliver and onions?
erin makes a greatliver and onions. - i know. - you don't like herliver and onions? - would you just relax? beats the hell out of hangingout at the tiki bar, doesn't it? - fine, make me a martini. does this not strike youa bit strange? a 25-year-old girl invitingtwo strange men to her house? - her uncle's house.- exactly.
i mean, she doesn't know us. did you ever see pulp fiction? 'cause i'm suddenly havingflashes of a red ball gagin my mouth. i mean, how do we know she's notgoing to walk out here with her redneck boyfriend, he's carrying headgearand a fucking shotgun? - guys, i want youto meet my roommate. this is kate.
it's not personal.excuse me. mom! okay, that was rude. - what--what is going throughthat mind of yours? - mom, you can't just sitin here and study all the time. part of college is learninghow to socialize. - hey, you're going to naila coed, dude. - those are strange men. all right, you are going to goout there
and say "thank youfor coming by, but--" - no, it's a holiday weekend.you are taking the night off. - all right, let's go. - i'm not going anywhere. - plus, i already made dinner. stop beingsuch a geek. guys, this is my roommate,kate. this is jon,and this is adam. - sorry, i wasn't preparedfor this.
- can i get you somethingto drink? - well, that martini lookspretty good. thank you. - so, uh, kate's a freshmanat college of the desert. her hobbies are painting,tennis... - okay, alix,you can stop now. this is not a game show. - [chuckles] [ice rattling]
- well, alix, guess i'll take"famous uncomfortable silences" for 50 then, please. [muffled laughter] [laughing]so i hear drawers. they're just openingand closing. just, like, opening and closing. so i get up and gointo his room. now it's 3:00 in the morning. and i said,"dad, what are you doing?"
he says, "i'm lookingfor something." i said, "what?" and he just sits there fora moment on the edge of his bed, and he goes, "i'm not sure, but i know when i'll see it." and then he goes backto looking for whatever it is he forgot that hewas looking for. [sighs] it just killed me.
anyway, next thing you know,i'm right in there with him. i'm must digging throughdrawers, opening closetsall over the house. - i was going to bedwhen the sun came up, hanging with the wrong crowd. plus, my mom and dad were goingthrough their shit, so... i had to get out of l.a.,you know? clear my head. my uncle stewart said i couldcrash at his place in the desert
for as long as i wanted. weird thing is,i kind of like it out here. - do you get back to l.a.at all? - uh, i try to stay away. every time i'm there,i seem to get into trouble. and you are trouble,aren't you? would that be sucha bad thing? - only the next morning. [indistinct conversation]
adam's cool, right? he's a really good guy. - [exhales sharply] [silverware clinking] - billy had been fooling aroundfor a long time. i knew it, but he wasvery discrete about it. and i had alix and this greathouse and my own tennis court, you know, some good friends,so i just... quite frankly,i didn't really care.
- so what happened? i think... i think i finally couldn'tfind any more excuses to stay. i woke up one morning, and i remember feelingthis complete emptiness and thought if i didn't get outof there, i was going to die. and so i left. - well, i wish i could blameerin, but it's me.
i mean, i'm the onewho checked out. she'd come home from work, i could barely look up frommy computer to say hello. it's amazing we lastedthis long. - well, it's the pain you know. - so how'd you get through it? - oh, well, i'm not real surethat i have gotten through it. i mean, i'm living inmy brother's house with my daughter,
and i'm a freshman atthe college of the desert. so...- hey, everybody. time to play "celebrity." - oh, okay.this is--you'll like it. well, you might not like this, but you're going to play itanyway. - oh, okay,the really cute quarterback who dates all the models. - joe namath!
- no, from this century. um, hurt his knee.- honey, i... - he hurt his knee.he was injured. mom, come on. the cartoon withblank and jerry. - tom.- yes! okay, now the show with the momand the three daughters and the dad with the three sonsand they get married. - the brady bunch!
tom brady brunch!tom brady! - time. - ah, in your face.- what? - '80s hair band sang i want to know what love is. - makes two of us. um...- come on. if i'm not a citizenof this country, i am a... - terrorist.- time! - no, no.come on.
he knew that one. - yeah, i knew that one.- tell her who it was. [whispers] foreigner.- yeah, foreigner. - no cheating. - he's not cheating. - that game is not over,by the way. - all right, when they getfinished beating us, divide and conquer. - she's cool,but i'm still married.
- still separated. and she's back in l.a. probably doingher new boyfriend... - can it, jon.- in your bed. - would you just stop it?- who wants coffee? - i would. - yeah, that sounds great. - you could sell these. - yeah, i'm not surethat the art world
needs any more fruit. - so what's your movie about? - what movie? - the one you and jonare doing? - oh, yeah, about that. there is no movie. that was just jon being... truth is,i'm a commercial editor. well, i was a commercial editor.
i quit about--actually i didn't quit. - you were fired. my partner, bobby allen,he... thought i was becomingtoo much of a liability, just because i did this...thing. - what thing? - i took a 9-ironto an editing bay. i know. but the agency and the clientcouldn't decide
what shot of the burgerthey liked better, and so... i pointed out the onei liked. my wife thinks i'm havingsome kind of a midlife crisis. a couple years ago, she told meto go out and buy porsche and i'd be over it already. - now, didn't i see a porscheparked out front? - didn't work. - i know what it is.- [giggling] - come on.- no, it's not.
- come on.- i wouldn't keep that from you. - do you like sushi?- i love sushi. - well, then you've got to cometo l.a. sometime. you know, we could hang out. - where would i stay?- i got a guest room. - yeah, right. i was born at night, butit wasn't last night, jackson. - hey, at leasti'm being honest here. the lame "i've got a guest room"bullshit?
- okay, well, you could stayin my room, then. - can i? what would i sleep in? - you really like teasing me,don't you? [lively folk music] look, i can't hook up with you. i just kind of started seeingsomeone. besides, i'm really overthe whole father figure thing. - we should have hita strip club.
- well, at least we didn't endup in the red ball headgear. what'd you think of kate? - why? you're not goingto leave erin. - what are you, kreskin? why do you do that?- what? - that. you don't think i havethe balls? i could leave erin. - [scoffs]why would you?
- jon. [continues ringing]jon. - hmm? - your phone. [continues ringing] oh, no, no.that's okay. what--hey, what do you mean? uh-huh. so what does that mean?
oh, okay.when? all right. all right.i'll see you then. - what's going on? - nothing. - so if it's nothing,why are they calling you at 7:30 in the morning? - i, uh, i got to geta colon--colonoscopy. - so what's the emergency? - they had a cancellation.they need to fill the slot.
you had yours yet? - when i was 50. it's the most unblockedi felt in years. be careful, though. the night before, they make youdrink this stuff. i never had shit fly out of meso hard so fast in my entire life. it's like they put a spigotin you. - i'll look forward to that.
i'll just wait here. - don't be a dick. - why am i being a dick? - i don't know.why are you being a dick? look, if you're just goingto pout about alix all day... - would you just returnthe damn driver already so we can tee it upbefore it's 1,000 degrees? [car beeping] - and sometimes you can't hita cow's ass with a shovel.
right?it's true. you're going to love that club. hey.how'd you hit it? - uh-huh-huh.what'd i tell you, huh? and now you're backfor the 3-wood? - no, no, no. see, i'm just not readyto accept that i'm at the beginningof the end. i'd like to think that i'mat the end of the beginning.
- all right, i don't knowwhat that means, but the beginning of the endis what? - it means that i'd like to trythe new titleist, okay? - yeah, no,that's a player's club. i don't think you're goingto be happy with that. - what are you saying? - i'm saying,i've seen your swing. i think that's what i'm saying. - you're saying you don't thinki can handle a titleist?
- i think you can handle it,adam. i don't think you can hit it. - sorry? - look, we hate it whenhigh handicappers come in here and buy the players clubs because they can't get itthrough their head that they are who they are. and then they bringthe club back, and we have to sell itas used,
and i lose my commission. - would you just go get methe new titleist, okay? - we don't have it witha senior shaft, adam. - then bring me onewith a regular shaft, larry. just get me the damn driver. - hey, adam.- alix. - how you doing?- good. real good. how's your mom?- great. we had a really good timelast night.
- yeah, us too. - so...what's happening tonight? - that was quick. - saying i'm slow? - you move likea fucking glacier. damn it.would you throw me a ball? - there are no mulligans. - just throw me a ball. - then you're hitting 3.
maybe you should be swinginga senior shaft. - fuck off. - i'm beating you. [toilet flushes] - yeah, well, it's all aboutthe back nine, van de velde. - you're supposed to pissin the bowl. - jeez. - saw alix at lumpy's. said they had a really good timelast night.
- i wouldn't mind seeing kateagain. - are you going to moveto the desert, start dating? - it's just dinner.- for you. for me,it's a waste of time. - would it kill youto wait for me? - kill you to walk 20 yards? - cocksucker. - hit that really hard, man. were you trying to takethe break out of it?
- oh, fuck off, jon. you're not out here for me. you're never anywherefor anybody but yourself. - okay, give yourself a par.i don't give a shit. [brakes squeal] - you know, last night,i didn't want to go, but i did. for you.selfish bastard. find someone elseto play golf with. - yeah, is that what youcall it? golf?
'cause the way you play,i would never know. - jesus christ, jon. i'm sorry i'm not as goodas you are. - yeah, well, so am i. you know what? as long as we're being honesthere, i don't even like playing golfwith you. we spend more time lookingfor your fucking balls than we do playing golf.
and i'm the selfish one. - would you just tee off? - dah! god. oh... [moaning] [playful music] - you did this because i wasbeating you, didn't you? all right.let's go.
all right, easy.okay. gimme your arms.- no, no, no. - yeah, yeah, yeah.this always works. - no.- yeah, come on. - no![back cracks] - that working?- put me down. - dang, that usually works. okay. come on.ooh, easy. all right, come on.
we'll stop and get youa heat pack. and a six-pack. you sure you're going to beokay? - soon as i get a couple morebeers in me, i will be. - you know, under any othercircumstances... - hey, shut up.go. i'll be fine. - [man on tv]winds up for the pitch... just slightly outsideof the plate.
- here. - oh, dear god. - suck those down,you won't feel a thing. - thanks, man. - you sure you're goingto be all right? - i got four more beersand spectravision. i'm in heaven. - all right. - tell alix she's missing out.
thanks.- i'll go get my mom. mom.he's here. - god, this is so stupid. i don't want to go out. - well, then why don't you justmake dinner here? - then he'll think we're goingto have sex or something. - just because you make dinner does not mean you have to havesex with him. - god, i look like a shar-pei.
- okay, you do not look likea shar-pei. you're a hot piece of ass. you're a freshman in college,for god sakes. - would you please not talkanymore? - he'd be lucky to getin your pants. - would you stop it?you're making me nuts. - you're a milf!- ugh! - oh, yes.oh. [woman moaning]so big.
oh.that cock is so big and so hard. oh.[tv zaps] - ow... [phone dialing rapidly] - hey, this is jessica. i can't make it to the phoneright now, but if you care to leavea message, you can do so after the-- - [clears throat]
- you okay? - i'm sorry.i'm... i really--i had a good timelast night. it was very unexpected. but i just--i don't really knowhow to do this. - so what does your wife do? - we don't have to makeconversation. - no, no,i really want to know. - mortgage banker.
i can't really see youwith a mortgage banker. - well, she wasn't alwaysgoing to be, but, you know, once we decidedwe didn't want kids, she wanted a career. she had a degree. she does well. yeah, we were doing well. - well, siddhartha had to giveup everything in order to become the manhe was destined to be.
- siddhartha? think i missed school that day. - buddha. - oh. so, uh, if you give up allyour shit and you leave home, you get to be fat and happy? - well, it beats beingskinny and unhappy and living in brentwood. - i did keep my audi.
i mean, i'm still a workin progress. - ah. but if you care to leavea message, you could do so-- - dad, you got to take your medswith food. no, a pint of ice creamis not food, dad. it's sugar. you're lactose intolerant. no wonder your stomach hurts. dad--dad--
dad?we've been over this before. okay, look, dad,i'm sorry. i gotta go, but i'm going tocall you in the morning, okay? and try and eatsome real food. okay.bye. [sniffs] - everything okay?- yeah, yeah. yeah, he picked up after, like,five rings. said he couldn't figure out
where the ringingwas coming from. you know,i can't move back there. he won't move out here. i can't get him a live-in.he won't let me. you know, i don't want to stealhis dignity, but i'm terrifiedi'm going to get that call that he's been laying onthe floor for half a day. - you want to get stoned? - you have pot?
- no, but i know where alixkeeps hers. [water splashing] [water draining] - no matter whoyou start over with, i mean, they're gonna havetheir shit, and you both got to get usedto each other's shit, because, you know,it's like we all got...shit. it's just different... shit.
- it was very eloquently put. [laughter] - it's my gift. wow. pot today is so much strongerthan when we were kids. or am i just weaker? - i'm sorry--what did you say? i was, um... just had some chatter going onin there that is...
tick-a, tick-a, tick-a. [crickets chirping] - how many times are you fuckinggoing to call? - i knew you were there. - what do you want? i just, you know... was thinking of you. hey, drive out to desert.come on. - yeah, you're dreamingif you think that i'm going--
- [slurring] what?come on, what's so wrong? what is so wrong with me? - you want a list? - come on, jess. i know--i know i'm a lotof things, but i'm not... you know, i'm not stupid. i want to hear you say it. - okay.uh, fine. um...
name one thing in your life that is yours. one thing that you couldn'tjust drop and walk away from in two minutes. - what?you can do better than that. - one thing. - well, that doesn't meananything. - fine. i had--i had a cat once.
- when you were eight. what do you want? - i just... okay, i just wanted to tell youthat, you know... you know, if there was everanyone that, you know... - [sighs] what? well, i just want to saythank you. - for what? picking up the phone.
- i'm hanging up now. - are you sure that you're okayto drive home? because you know you canstay here. - no, i'm fine. - you sure?- yeah, i'm positive. i'll call you tomorrow. - all right.- all right. what?- really? well, after all we shared.
- yeah.oh... okay.- okay, then. - okay, then.- all right. - i gotta go.- yes. - all right, see you. thud! - [laughing] all right,you're not going anywhere. - wow. maybe i should sleepon the couch.
- come on, we're adults,right? - what was that?- ah, nothing. - what was that?- it's my night guard. i...grind. - [laughs]that's fantastic. - why?- i don't know. it just is. believe me, if we dowhat i want to do, i'm going to feel like shitin the morning. - that's okay.
i guess part of meis kind of glad that you can't go there. now where are you going? - to the couch. - night. - it's open. oh. - poor baby. i knew you'd call me.
- i knew you'd come over. [sultry funk music] - why?'cause i like teasing you? - oh... - something to relievethe pain? and something to make you feelall better. - you, my nurse,who would have thought? - [shushes] just show me where it hurts.
don't need this, now,do we? [velcro tears] roll over, baby.let me help. gently. gently. - [groaning] - i'm going to make you feelso good. - oh, god. - did you knowthat most of the time back pain really isn't back painat all?
- no? well, what is it, then? - stress, anxiety, fear. maybe all that jonny needsis just a little understanding. - yeah... - someone to care for you. love you. - oh, you're so rightabout that. oh, god.
i want you so bad. - let's take it slow, baby. i'm going to rock youall night long. [music volume increases] [music stops] [door opens] - hey.- oh, hey. - you're moving. - yeah, i know.it's a miracle.
- where'd you getthe icy hot? is that astroglide? - morning. sorry. [groans] - okay, so i'll call you. - oh, please. i'm not going to be sittingaround waiting for that call. - no, really, i'll call you.
- if you ever call again,it better be as a friend. it's going to be all right. whatever causedthat back problem. don't fear the years. getting older makes you wise. - you, i think i amgoing to call. [bluesy rock guitar] [engine revving] - so...never did ask you.
who's the oldest womanyou ever... i'm sorry, i just never wouldhave pegged you-- - hey, hey, would you justshut the fuck up? you didn't even come backto the room last night. - hey, you don't knowwhat i did last night. - i know you didn't come backto the room. - well, it's a good thing. 'cause i would have hatedto have been the third wheel at your peggy party.
how was that? is it true what they sayabout experienced lovers? - would you just shutthe fuck up? you don't anything aboutthat woman. you don't know shitabout anything. - jesus, jon. - would you just pull over? pull the fucking car over! just pull the goddamn car over!now!
- jon!what the fuck? jon!jon! jon!slow down! i got bad knees! jon! would you wait? - [panting] - are you okay? - i got prostate cancer.
- what?when? how long? - who knows? that's why the doctor called. - well, why didn't you tell me? jesus christ, jon. - i got to get a biopsyon tuesday. - a biopsy? - well, a biopsy doesn't meanyou have it.
- well, it doesn't meani don't. - look, even if you do,they have treatments. - i don't even havean i.c.e. number. [crying] [soft acoustic guitar] [melancholy piano music] - okay. you're okay. all right?- mm-hmm.
[paper rustling] - [on tv] these arethe current temperatures at this hour in long beach... - good? - all right, i'll swing byin the morning. - i'm all right. - i don't give a shitabout you. i stocked your fridge.i'm coming by for some food. i'll talk to you later.
[closes] - what are you doing here? - looking around. - i thought we decidednot to do this. - i always hated this sofa. - you came here to tell methat you hated the sofa? you told me you loved it. - i knew you loved it. you were right, though.
it looked great the secondit came through the door. - suits the room. '50s modern. - what do they call that?that term? - an oxymoron. - do you ever feel likeyou're the same but everything around youis changing? you know it's changing, so you just focus onall the small stuff
just to have it make sense. i find myself saying thingslike, "30 years ago..." and i have to stopand think, "did that really happen? is it possible somethinghappened to me 30 years ago?" - just meansyou have a history. - you are so practical. i know it was me. couples workshops,
counselors,the trial separation... i mean, there's no such thingas a trial separation. i know you did that for me. so thank you. i just didn't have the gutsto admit it. [exhales sharply] [voice breaking] i'm sorry.for everything. i just never thought i'd haveto say that to you. - i'm sorry too.
are you going to be okay? [phone ringing] hey, dad.how's it going? why? what do you mean,you lost the remote? did you look nearthe cookie jar? how about in the cookie jar? all right, how about the fridge?did you look there? well, i know it doesn'tbelong there, dad,
but you're the one that keepsputting it in there. did you look? uh-huh.no? how about under the table? sometimes it falls down there,you know? oh, watch your head. are you okay? - guy barely hits it 200 yardsoff the tee, and now he's going to waitfor the green to clear from 250.
hit the ball. - you're not listening. - no, no, no.i'm listening. so the guy comes over and... - so the guy comes over,and he's 40. it's a lawyer.he's just restless. i mean, you can sense it. it's a textbook case. and he just made partner.
- so why didn't he wantto buy new? - that's what i asked him. he says he doesn't want to drop85 grand just yet. you know, wants to go witha starter porsche. - ease his wife intothe idea, huh? come on, dude!hit the ball! - fuck you! - all right,so now i'm the dick. he can kiss my irradiated ass.
- so anyway, the guy finallymakes me an offer. nowhere near the ask.totally lowballs it. - of course he does. - but i'm thinking,maybe i should take it. nobody's called mein the last three weeks. - tell me you didn't.that car is so tight. - i didn't.- good. hold out. you're going to getyour price. - i'm not selling it.i mean, how can i?
you know, i take a cornerat 85 in that thing, it reminds me i'm alive. - see?now, here's the guy i remember. - don't they say 50is the new 30? - isn't it funny how you neverhear 30-year-olds saying that? oh, christ. - shanked it. - yeah, good.now leave the cart there. so how's the writing?
- well, let's face it.i'm not a writer. i mean, if i was, i would havefigured out a way to do it a long time ago. you know, a wise manonce said to me, "the key to life's notfiguring out who you are, but who you aren't." - who said that? - my dad. i'm moving back east.
i was going to tell youover martinis, but... wow, that's--that's a big move. you know, i was sitting atthe computer the other day. i'm staring at "fade in." i just started typing outa list of things that were important to me. i don't know how many yearshe has left. - a lot of great coursesback east. [engine whirring]
- finally.- hallelujah. what happenedto the titleist? - couldn't hit it. - so you went backto the adams? - senior shaft my ass. [folksy rock music] - ♪ heaven knows how i feel ♪ ♪ when i found a lovethat's real ♪ ♪ every hand i'm dealti lose ♪
♪ now the car is turning fast ♪ ♪ if i'm ever going to last ♪ ♪ gonna make this offer ♪ ♪ i can't refuse ♪ ♪ see where i'm standing ♪ ♪ when the morning comes ♪ ♪ see if i'm standing ♪ ♪ couldn't take it anymore ♪ ♪ you were there at my door ♪
♪ stay with me until the dawn ♪ ♪ though the dayis almost here ♪ ♪ it's everything that i fear ♪ ♪ give me the will,the will to carry on ♪ ♪ see where i'm going ♪ ♪ tell you right now ♪
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