captioning made possible bywarner bros. dad, you havethe coolest job. well, sometimes i thinki should be hanging out with a better classof animals. oh, come on! hey, have some class,will ya? we got mixed companydown here. you know, dad,genetically speaking, monkeys areour first cousins.
you mean... uncle bob's kids? yeah. i supposei'd agree with that. no, i'm serious. actually,some scientists say that monkey diets are muchmore evolved than our own. oh, this is all aboutdiets again, huh? i'm just sayingit wouldn't hurt you to eat more fruitsand vegetables like monkeys do.
honey, the reasonthat monkeys eat so many fruitsand vegetables is because they'renot smart enough to butcher a cow. your mother,god bless her soul, didn't believethe old-fashioned ideas about nursing,breast-feeding and all that. uh-uh. you were fedcheeseburgers as a baby. now look at you.
you're as big as a house.you're as strong as a bull. you smell like a cow. your cholesterol'sprobably a little high, but, you know, they havemedicine for that now. you can get an angioplasty,get it all cleared out. you're doin' great,honey. all right. i'll startworkin' out tomorrow. start taking better careof myself, ok? so does that mean you'll goon the school hike with me?
first things first. eat your lunch. talk about it later. hey--gimme that egg,pal. gimme the egg, friendly.come on! dad! dad, stop it!what are you doing? hey, that's my egg!gimme that-- uh! uh! uh! uh![thunk] it's just an egg, dad!
ok. now i gottachoke ya. aha! ha! now who's evolved? [chortling] what'sthe matter, buddy? all that saladslow you down? huh? dad! that's filthy! honey, 10-second rule.hits the ground,
you pick it up within10 seconds, you can eat it. ugh! dispatcher, over radio:saliva one, what do you got? pilot: we havea 2-20 on an egg. echo gamma-gamma.over. any mayo? that's affirmative. we'll try and lookin the bowels. we need that mayonnaise.over.
enzyme breakdown in 10.be careful out there. you know, when i wasa rookie cell, this place was clean enoughto eat out of. look at it now! jeez! what a disgrace. see anything, kid? mmm. i do. nice genes! you got the chromosomesin all the right places! jones...
what? ain't nothinga toothbrush can't handle. i wish you'd take this joba bit more seriously. yo! you see this badge?you see this gun? you see this gooey,white, sackus, membranous around my personhood? here we go again. well, you dealin' witha white blood cell here! i should be out in the veinsfightin' disease, not in the mouthon tartar control!
you're luckyyou ain't in a scab. uh-oh. looks like we gotsome germs on that egg. mmm, baby,it's ozzy time! it's probably gingivitis.don't get carried away. pilot, over radio: halt. youhave entered the city of frank. put your hands upand surrender for digestion. saliva one requestingground support. over. bicuspid four.we're in the vicinity. we're on it.
pilot: this isa private organism. there is no use running. you up spit creekwithout a paddle. don't make me mad, 'cause i will turn intoa germicidal maniac. halt. saliva patrol. ooh! ah! son of a botulism!
they swiped the patrol car! get outta here! oh! uh-oh, you donedone it now! aah! holy frank! he's about to yawn! we're getting sucked in! i told city hallwe need more sleep! hold tight, kid.
osmosis jonesto dispatch. we got multiple germs-- i repeat--multiple germscoming down the windpipe, and if these bad boyshit the bloodstream, we're gonna be illin'! i'm talkin' nose drippin',chicken soup drinkin', rectal thermometerstickin' illin'! chief, listen to this. ha ha ha-ha!
so, you got plansfor the weekend, kid? oh, yeah.me and my girlfriend are goin' down to the kidneysto see the stones. good for you. they couldpass any day now. dispatcher: all unitsdown to the stomach. be on the lookoutfor illegal organisms. [siren] jones! you wanna keepyour job? stay where you areand wait for backup.
but i can get 'em! i said stay put. over. pilot: you heard the chief. we're out ofour jurisdiction. it's immunity'sproblem now. we'd better get backup to the mouth. what the--hey, jones! chief, you're gonnathank me for this later.
don't even thinkabout it, pal. aren't you in enoughtrouble already? jones! ah--oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! slow down! slow down! hey, hey, hey! wait--wait a--wha--what the-- hey, stretch, shouldn't you beup in the mouth?
aw, come on, guys. this is my bust.i saw 'em first. whoa! ♪ now in the street,there is violence ♪ ♪ and a lots of workto be done... ♪ you want osmosis,you got osmosis. oh! ♪ oh oh ♪ ♪ we gonna rock down to... ♪
bye-bye, cop! ah ha ha ha! sorry, baby, but it's timeyou take your medicine! [grunts] always pullsto the right! yaaaah! oh! oh! dad, what's wrong?what's wrong? oh, it's a cramp! officer down!
oh, these stairs arekillin' me, honey. we may have to move. but dad,there's only 4 steps. if you love it here... i'll build a ramp. ah... [excited chattering] sewage worker #1:i can't believe it. it's been 3 hourssince lunch,
and we're stillcleaning up this egg. oh, man, would you lookat all that gunk? ha ha ha. seriously...what does this guy do, roll his food aroundon the ground before he eats it? we need to send a letterto the mayor about washing our handsbefore we eat. yeah, like he's gonnalisten to us. hey, cells vote, man.
cells vote. [sighs] ah... ha ha. got you,you little-- aah![thud] a-a-artie? w-what's goin' onover there? artie? holy spit! careful...i'm contagious.
[cheerfully]ow... [whimpers] oh--oh-- [humming] [whimpering] i think i'll turn upthe heat in here. [chuckling] [telephones ringing] ...is not available.
hold. one moment. i'm connecting. mr. mayor, mr. mayor,do you have a plan to deal with the fat cellhousing shortage? i'd like to announcewe're beginning construction on a--ha ha--third chin. mr. mayor,we're having jock itch! any commentson today's cramp?
what do you have to sayto all the hair cells recently laid offfrom the scalp? there'll be plentyof new jobs for everyone on the back. what do you think offrank's daughter's request for better nutrition? 85% of red blood cellchildren don't even knowhow to carry oxygen. people, people,you worry too much!
the bodyis in perfect shape. [sizzle] [beep] ha ha ha ha. no more questions.thank you. do they knowhow hard i work? no. no. nobody cares. mr. mayor, i-- not now, leah.i have a body to run.
i've got tom colonic'snew campaign ad. oh? let's go.put it on. announcer: the following isa paid political announcement. [sighs] the bowels. didn't alwayssmell this way. no. there was a timewhen eating right and exercise kept this whole areaa vital center of activity. but duringmayor phlegmming's term,
we've seen rot and stagnationparalyze this neighborhood as well as the colonand the sphincter. well, i think it's timewe get things moving again. i'm tom colonic. as mayor,i would set long-term goals that include ordering saladsand eating bran. mayor phlegmming may thinkthat things are fine just the way they are. blah, blah, blah. but i think thatif we pull together
and put ina little hard work... [flatulence] a new frank could beright around the corner. oh, uh... mr. colonic,what's that smell? ha ha. why, that's the smellof change, billy. [inhales] [emotionally]that's the smell of change.
announcer: paid forby colonic for mayor. can you believethose lies? sir, he's got a point.when i came to work for you, you promised youwould concentrate more on health issues. leah, i want frankto be healthy, but think of the sacrifices,the hard work, the lack of potato chips!that's not what the voters want. then why are you behindin the polls?
don't you worryabout the polls. i have a plan that's gonnaflush colonic down the toilet. honey! shaaane! coming. you ok?where does it hurt? [groaning] leg. here? leg.
leeeeeeeg! oh! oh, oh. oh, here. here. i just neededsome sodium. i think that's whatmade me cramp up. heads up! chicken goin' downrough! [alarm]
now what? [alarm blares] sir, turn onthe optical feed. let me take a lookat that, dad. open wide. open wide. ahh. ahh! could you swallow first,please? ow!
ahh... definitely red. [frank groans] are you orderingout? no. i'm making you anappointment to see the doctor. sick? we're notgetting sick! we have far toomuch planned! sir, you can't gointo override without a votefrom city council.
yes, my dear. voice manual control on. hey, that's onlyfor emergencies. leah, this is an emergency. into microphone:on second thought... on second thought... mayor: perhapsi'll take a cold pill. perhaps i'll takea cold pill. receptionist, on phone:dr. watkin's office.
uh, sir... thank you, leah. now get me the chief onthe phone. there's a good girl. "drixenol." yes? i caught this one with 6 microgramsof stolen adrenaline. it's not mine. i sweari was holding it for my cousin. oh, yeah. i never heardthat one before.
take him to lockdown. next! hey, hey, hey.it's the germinator! [laughter] ok, guys,you got me there. let's save a little forthe criminals, all right? jones, when was the last timeyou caught anything? hey, hey. you shouldaseen this thing. this ain't no ordinaryhousehold germ.
this thing's biggerthan all of us. this thing isn't evenfrom frank's body. it's like a al roker germ,heavy d germ! cop: you talkin'about this? ha ha ha! yeah, uh...you know, he's slouchingright now. in my office! chiefy-weefy, whassup?
don't chiefy-weefy me!have you seen the headlines? the papers are calling itthe most powerful cramp since shane made us trythat tae-bo workout! hold on a second-- i told you to stay put. i told you to waitfor backup! but once again, you hadto do it your own way! man, i was right there!i coulda done it-- right! 78 trillion cellsin the body,
all working together...you're the only one who thinks he can do it alone! you ever think that mightbe your problem, jones? what?! oh, hello, mr. mayor. the missus? oh, she's great. yes. uh--you're kidding, sir. i'll put a manright on it, sir. yes, sir. stupid political decisions! now where was i?
you were juststarting to say how you weregiving me a promotion to head of brain security,i believe. yep. you know what, jones?you're right. maybe it is timei give you a case. talkin' about what,now? we have a situationin the throat, and i'm putting you on it. thank you, chief!thank you, chief!
you won't regret this.you're a good man! you're a fine man.you're an upstanding man. yeah. whatever you say. you know, it was onthe fence for a while. people like, good man,bad man, good man, bad man, but now it's official-- you a good man! you done? now our pill is gettingswallowed as we speak.
so i suggestyou get your nucleus down to the stomach,pronto! pill? what pill? you didn't think i was gonnatrust you to take care of a sore throat by yourself,did you? now, get outta here. or i swear to frank,you'll be on butt-hair patrol for the next 3 years! ♪ welcome downtown ♪ ♪ here we go again ♪
♪ here we go again... ♪ rinky-dink, stink, pinky pill! male, over p.a.: the white zoneis for the ingestion and digestionof gastric passengers only. no parking. female, over p.a.: last call.peanut now boarding for intestinal tractsand liver with direct serviceto the colon.
now boarding. ♪ hare, hare ♪ ♪ hare krishna ♪ male, over p.a.:passengers arriving... all right. [beep beep beep] hey! female, over p.a.:attention. all fat cells proceed directlyto the love handles.
thank you. oh, yes, mr. mayor. no, sir. it hasn'tarrived yet. what the-- mmm! look out, now! did you get a chance to lookat my notes on your speech? the in-box. yes. it says"in" right on it, sir. i'll check back later.
all right. good-bye. well, well, well! what do we havehere? somebody beenworkin' out! leah, you lookin'fine, girl. mighty fine. oh, jones. did theyhave to assign you to this? spit. wasn't my idea, butnow i'm starting to like it. baby, when are you and megonna hook up?
i know this little spotright behind the eye. has the perfect view. perfect for a littlerendezvous between me and you. you know whati'm sayin'? do you know whati'm saying? 'cause i been saying ita long time. jones,what in the world makes you think i wouldever go out with you? what you talkin' about?i'm a legend, girl!
the chicks line upto divide with me! oh, really? 'cause to me you looklike the kind of cell who mostly divideswith himself. whoo! who cut offthe heat? somebody pay the bill!it's cold in here! female, over p.a.:now arriving with some milk, a cold pill with a pleasantfruity flavor. leah:wow. this is huge!
don't beall impressed, 'cause 99% of that'sjust sugar, you know. yeah? and 99% of youis just stupid. ozzy: ooh, like i haven'theard that one before. [smacking lips] what is thatcherry stank? special agentdrixobenzometaphedramine. drixenol, the brand that easesyour coughs and sneezes. warning: do not exceedrecommended dosage.
if symptoms persist,consult a physician. may cause drowsiness. do not attemptto operate heavy machinery. pregnant women should nothandle broken tablets. wow. i'm feelin' betteralready. you can call medrix. welcome tothe city of frank. mm-hmm. i'd like to examineyour irritated areas. whoo! never onthe first date, drips.
drix. that's what i said. no. i think you saiddrips with a "p." whatever. this ain't workingout. i'm gonna call the chief and ask him to assignsomeone else. wait. hold up now. i needthis job, leah.
come on,just give me a shot. but no screw-ups.you dig? baby, i promise everything'sgonna be fine. not as fine as you,but fine. man, what youbeen eatin'? that's my...effervescent propulsion. but we're drivingwith the windows open. i don't want none ofthose fruity bubbles
stinkin' up my ride.you got that? hmm... hey, yo, yo!aw, man! look what you doin'to my baby. [music plays] hey, hey!don't touch my radio! where you from,tough stuff? i was developedat the university of chicago where i graduatedphi beta capsule.
great. got mea college boy. i received my fda certificationin cold and flu studies as well as a mastersin multi-symptom relief. where did you study? study? when you grow up on the wrong side ofthe digestive tract, you don't got no moneyfor no fancy schools. oh...
i'm not kidding, man. my high schoolwas crack central. oh? no, it was in the crack! right in the stankypuckered center! ♪ i want know ya... ♪ we were so poor, we lived offpeanut butter and cellulitesandwiches.
you ever try to blow dryyour hair with a fart? ok, i get it.you were poor. you bet. you evertry to make a snowman out of toilet papercling-ons? now, that's poor! ok, please. you'regoing to make me vomit. vomit? we couldn'tafford no vomit. that's for rich folks. excuse me whilei wipe my eyes. aw, you wanna talkabout wipin'...
ok, you're all new, so follow my lead,right? now-- yo. yo! wait up! didn't they teach you no mannersin that ivy league petri dish? murphy!it's flarin' up again! give me a statuson the pain relief. murphy, over radio:well, we have a report ofa foreign substance in upper respiratorysystem.
hmm. inflammationand glandular swelling. we meet again. dougy-doug,the firebug! my boy is hot! osmosis jones. like i don't haveenough problems? you can start redirectingtraffic over there. what you talkin' about? i'm in charge of thissore throat, baby.
you're kidding me. no. straight up.now what we got? it's just a routinesore throat. looks like a saliva boatwent haywire and crashed. saliva boat?that's pretty unusual. knock downthat hot spot. get that ladderteam over here! step away. tamper-proof seal is therefor your protection!
[gasps] not my suedes! what the dilly?[gasps] [heavy breathing] [rustling] aiieee-heee-aah! aah! aah! por favor, please man,don't shoot! la muerte, man! esta aqui!
he's going tokill us dead, hombre! no, no! talk english, man.we ain't on telemundo here. la muerte roja! he's coming, man. i saw him! i saw him.i saw him! la muerte roja-- drix: ♪ when your body'sfull of aches ♪ ♪ a drixenolis all it takes ♪ excuse me. what do youthink you're doing?
i'm soothingthe irritation. you just soothed my witnessinto a germsicle! oh. oh, gosh.well, don't worry. he'll be back to normalin a few days. a few days is too late.he might have some important informationabout what went down here. officer, nothing went down here. this is justa common sore throat.
this is a crime scene. yo, you wanna dosomething useful? go plug some turtle waxinto that thing and wash my car! now, that's inflammation relief. later, doug. be cool, oz. [chuckles] hey, fellas,how's it feel workin'
with the two dumbestanimals in the zoo? they're not too bad. i'm talkingto the camels! ha ha ha ha! we're dumb, and they'retalkin' to the camels. ha ha ha ha.excellent. uh-huh. oh, man. i am so psychedfor this long weekend. getting outta town?
outta town? i'm not gettingoutta my bathrobe. i'm just gonna wheel a keginto the living room and plop myself down onthe sofa in front of the tv. you know, spenda little quality time with the wifeand kids. [sniffs] what's that smell? that's bruno.his tummy's still upset.
no, i'm talking about the nasty, skanky,sweaty smell. oh, that's my daughtershane. she won't buy medeodorant anymore. says it causes cancer. did the foot funguspay up yet? naw. that guy'sgettin' flaky on us. well, you ain't gonnacollect nothin' from him up here in the pit.
now get down there, send him a message. [thrax humming] so... this is wherethe scum of frank comes to fester. hey, you lost,pal? this is a privatesweat gland. now, beat it!
i'm lookin' forvolunteers, yo. some nasty germswho want in on a big score. yo, red, we runthe rackets around here. take your little hustlesomeplace else. oh, baby, this ain'tabout no hustle. this is about the baddestillness y'all have ever seen. look who thinkshe's the ebola virus, huh? ebola? let me tell you somethingabout ebola, baby.
ebola is a case of dandruffcompared to me! all right, pal.you're outta here. bruiser, take thispunk up to the face and bury himin a blackhead. when we're donewith you, it'll takea swedish facialist and 6 steamin' washclothsto get you out! oh, sounds likea gas, baby. bring it on.
bruiser, what are you,a sissy mary? thrax: hmm... lead germ:what you doing? che-- what's he doin'-- uh-ah! you ain't so tough, huh? that was nothin'! so, uh... what kinda sicknessdo ya have in mind...
boss? deadly. hey, dad.hey, uncle bob. hello, beautiful. bob: hey. so dad, i stoppedby the camping store, and i got some nutsand berries and stuff for the father/daughterhike. uh, right, shane.uh, on this hike,
is that teacher of yoursgonna be there? um, yeah. my wholeclass is. why? i don't know.i was just thinking i might takea rain check. dad, mrs. boyd isn'tstill mad at you. no, it-- i didn't think so.i was just-- we could find somethingbetter to do. you know, yesterday,without thinking,
i did all my hikingfor the week. i hikedto the liquor store, i hiked to the cigarettewarehouse... but dad, you said-- i said i was gonnathink about it. it's a holiday weekend. the important thing isthat we're together, right? yeah. i guessyou're right. yeah. well, i, uh...
i have something veryspecial up my sleeve. ahem. um,sweetheart, have you ever seena rattlesnake swallow a football? i don't think she has. oh, it's fun.come on. come on.i'll show you. thank you, uncle bob. oh, that--ha ha ha!you're gonna love it!
drix: what are wewasting time here for? do i have to remind you i am on a strict12-hour time release program? first the throat, then the nose,then the aches and pains. yeah, i got it. real importantstuff. just waitin the car. i got police work to do. could you give meone glazed
and one witha jelly-filled nucleus? uh-huh. librarian:brain memory library. can i help you? you gotany information on somethingcalled... "el morry roho"? stand by. i'll check. but we're really all about
sports statistics here. [crunch] librarian: sir? yeah, i'm here.what you got? la muerte roja. that's spanish. it meansthe red death. the red death? what's that, somekind of taco sauce? you have a nice day.
osmosis:hello? [shatter] yo! yo, drips! you ever hearof the red death? [starts engine] [beep beep beep beep] look alive, boys. we got dustat 9 o'clock.
eat hot nose juice,dust! well, we're here.you happy? you hear that? quick, jones,the dam is under attack! hey, chill, pill. it's just some snot gunsbooger-coating some dust. ah--oh. [mumbling] now...get to work!
this is your big plan? a sore throat,a stuffy nose? people're just gonnathink you're-- a common cold. until i make my move, that's precisely whati want them to think. yo, check it out!we got cops here! drix: hey, look. yo, yo, yo,be careful!
that'sa pollen pod, man. frank is totallyallergic to this stuff. i didn't know frankhad allergies. of course you didn't. no useless pillknows nothin' about what goes onin here. whoops! in the words ofthe immortal james brown-- get down! james who?
ah...ah...ah... choo! hey. hey, frank. danny. you nitwit! you could havedamaged the dam! relax. this babywas built to last. solid cartilage.
oh, you're an engineernow. excuse me. i need to testthe mucus viscosity. [honk honk] hey, frank!frank! how come you'releaving so early? it's all shoveled out,and the hippo's asleep. i'm gonna take shaneto docky's for dinner. oh, yeah? did you come upwith something to do with shane this weekend?
yeah, yeah, yeah.i did great. ozzy: i guarantee you, there ain't nothingwrong with this dam. so, uh, you want meto take care of 'em? no. hit allthe pressure valves. they're aboutto blow the scene. what in the name ofsweet bleedin' frank-- the membraneis cracking, you--
drips! i think you misseda spot! come on, fellas.go, go, go! stop! immunity! what the frank-- wait a minute-- whoa-oa! aah! oh!
nose hairs! watch out! ohhhhh! drix: we're going to die! gee, frank,i'm standing right here. can you use a tissue? i don't have one. well, use yourimagination. what's thatover there?
better? much better. i gotta go get her. she'll be excited. she'll probably call ya. good. [grunting] oh...uh! if it wasn't for you,none of this--eww-- would have ever happened.
now, if you'llexcuse me, i--i-- have a nose to dry. broadcaster: this isnerve network news... [news theme plays] good evening. in an act of selfless bravery, a cold tablet stopped a runny nose today. the heroic tablet is due to behonored later this afternoon.
trudy? well, in lighter news, there was panda-monium in the stomach today as some new animalcrackers arrived. they are adorable,aren't they? hmm. and now we go liveto cerebellum hall for a special addressfrom mayor phlegmming. ok, mayor.
in 5, 4, 3... good evening,citizens of frank. in the past few weeksof the campaign, my opponent has thrown arounda lot of fancy words to try to confusethe issues, words like...exercise, low-fat, and diet...
words designed to scare us into changingwhat has worked for so many years. well, i saylet's stay the course. remember, a fat frankis a happy frank. what? that's notwhat i wrote. i propose somethingthat every organism in this city will enjoy. i give you...
a dream vacation to the annualchicken wing festival in buffalo, new york! [cheering] final planshave been made, and nothing... is going to standin our way! leah: and we're out. sir, that wasn't the speechwe agreed on. i thought--
yes, yes, yes. where's the little twerpin the wheelchair? oh, hello, johnny.how ya doing? congratulations, boys! excellent workin the nose today! come on over here.let's get some pictures. i want the captionon this one to read, "mayor and pillstop cold...cold." mr. mayor, uh, mr. mayor,excuse me, sir,
but we have a problem. ha ha ha! what are youtalking about, jones? i think whatever it wasin the sinuses is a lot morethan a common cold. sir, don't listento jones. his diagnostic skillsare remedial at best! you're the littlecherry aspirin who iced a key witnessto a viral attack! that was an accident!
yeah, the kind of accident only a time-releasedipstick like yourself would have. oh! i am so sick of you!that's it! i can't work with you! you can't work with me?i can't work with you! officers, please, please! jones, what is this--thisvirus you're talking about? the virus thattorched the throat.
the virus that causedthose half-inch snot crests i was just surfin'! those snot crestswere caused by the sneeze, and the sneezewas caused by you! yeah? then how come i sawthat viral-lookin' mother fleein' the sceneof the crime? tell me! sir, maybe we should put the cityon full alert. you know, liquids,bed rest.
you know.just to be safe. we will dono such thing. i'm not goingto postpone our trip just becausethe white blood cell with the worstrecord in frank thought hesaw something. listen, from now on,keep those opinions in that mushy littlehead of yours, or you're gonnafind yourself
in ournext nosebleed. understood? son, i apologizefor all of this. now, why don't wefind you another, more capable officerto work with. uh, sir, uh... if it's allthe same to you, i think i'llstay with jones. wow.
suit yourself. you know, you didn'thave to do that. the last thing i needis your sympathy. this is not aboutsympathy. i was sent into this bodyto make it feel better, so if this alleged virus has anything to dowith that mission, i must pursue it. yeah. whatever.
hey, jones,what did the mayor mean when he saidyou had a record? you did somethingterrible, didn't you? drips, sometimesbeing too careful is all it takes. what do you mean? a coupleof years ago i was cruisingthe digestive tract, just mindingmy own business.
outside, it was shane'sschool's science fair, and everyonewas real excited, 'cause the winnerwas gonna get their picture on the front pageof the local paper. think anyone's gonnalike my volcano? are you kidding?all these other parents are going home sad, 'cause their kids'projects are cardboard and glitterpaint and science.
shane, yours is art. [laughs shyly] woman: wow,what a great tepee. tepee? mrs. delirious,come on. honey, i'm gonna gocheck out the competition. why don't you see if youcan learn these people something about volcanos? hey, partner.what you got there? these? oh, theseare polluted oysters.
well--well,they were polluted. i replanted them6 months ago. you know, that's how longthe state says you got to do it for. and every timethe tide came in, it flushed all the--the bad stuff out. can you eat them? well, if my hypotenuseis correct, sure...you...
well, uh...yeah, definitely. you got yourself a sale. [slurps, gulps] mmm. mmm! all right,you might want to check your mathon that one. osmosis: i was workingthe kidneys when i heard abouta 631 in progress--
that's incoming shellfish. so i headed downto the stomach, just to be safe. p.a. system:unscheduled shellfish now arriving at gate 6. and you must beshane's dad. guilty as charged. frank detorri. frank, it's a pleasureto meet you.
i am mrs. boyd. i am shane's scienceand p.e. teacher. and i just have to tell you,your daughter shane, i am just absolutelycrazy about her. she is a doll. well, if you mean that,i'm gonna keep her. oh, my go--ha ha! that was so funny! oh, my god,i've got the giggles.
ohh! she's a sweetie pie,though. did she tell youthat when she grows up, she wants to moveto the city and help people? no kidding? you mean, likea concierge or something? no, no, no, no, no.not--uh, like poor people. oh, yeah.she told me that.
yeah. you know, i reallyjust have to say, frank, it's just so wonderfulto see shane participating in the science fair. you know, because sinceher mother passed away, she's had a reallyhard time sort of... being part of the groupactivities. yeah. she's gonna be ok. yeah. osmosis: and then i saw him.
he rode in onthe clammiest-looking oyster i'd ever seen. mr. detorri? ohh... are you ok? those oysters. the oysters? oh, yeah.that's zack's project. he's a little slow.
the doctor saysthat he has a brain the size of a tangerine. mmm... yeah. so we sort ofgave him this project just to sort ofpush him along. i think he juststarted it this morning, which is sort of funny. but we're gonnagive him an "a" anyway. [bubbling sounds]
[audio slowed]mr. detorri? [deep rumbling] [audio slowed further]mr. detorri? osmosis: there was no timeto ask questions, so i did what i had to do. whoa, look at that guy! [vomiting] crowd: ohh! mrs. boyd: oh! oh-ho!
ooh! ooh! osmosis: you can probablyguess which photo made it to the front pageof the paper the next day. overnight, frank becamethe town laughingstock. the photo got picked upand ran in every daily across the country. he even got firedfrom his job at the pea soup factory. lucky for us,our old friend bob
hooked up frankwith a job at the zoo. it was a 90% cut in pay, but it was the bestwe could do. needless to say,none of this helped shane. and as for me,i got suspended for unnecessary force. since then, not a dayhas gone by that i haven't wondered,"did i do the right thing?" you know, jones,from your description,
it sounds likeyou were justified. excuse me? oystersare a breeding ground for any numberof dangerous bacteria. they are! that's what i beentrying to tell everybody! darn right, they are! i never thoughtyou'd be on my side. i never thoughtyou'd be right. uh, excuse me, sir.we have a very strict
"no shoes, no service"policy. i'm afraid i'm gonnahave to ask you to leave. i beg your pardon,is that how you treat the handicappedin docky's? handicapped? i have a chronicingrown toe condition, and doctors sayit's only a short time before i won'tbe able to wear even the roomiestof footwear.
i'll bring your menus. look, would you bringsome clam strips and some steamerswhen you come, too, please? so, dad,what's the big surprise? well, i know you wanted to goon a trip this weekend, so... ta-da! buffalo? buffalo, new york. the buffalo wing festivalthis weekend.
oh. yeah, great. so, what'sthe big surprise? we got tickets! i called a scalper. look! 99 kinds of wings. 128 differentdipping sauces. you love math.crunch the numbers on that and tell methe possibilities
aren't infinite. look! look! here you are. miss chicken wing festival. [clucks] see this? he's the champion. but he won't befor long. because i'm coming. i'm coming--i'm comingto get you, baby.
fun? huh? yeah. that's--that's really cool, dad. mayor: ha ha ha ha ha. see? i told youshe'd be excited. now, tidy up, will you?here we go. ok, frank,this is your, um... conscience speaking. now listen carefully. this hiking tripmeans the world to her.
figure out a wayto make it work. use that charm. what's wrong now? oh, gee... oh, it's this damn toe. do me a favor, huh? don't you get old. listen to the toe. hey, boss, looks likeyour plan worked.
that's right. i got this cityexactly where i want it. ha ha! so, what aboutthe cop and the pill? well, let's just sayif they give us a problem, ♪ fi-re ♪ ♪ bom, bom, bom,bom, bom, bom, bow ♪ ♪ oh, hear my beatall across the world ♪ ♪ your soul goes outto all the boys and girls ♪
come on, brother! let'sget down! let's get down! you know money on the woodmake the game go good. 5 bucks sayssize don't matter. [chattering,squealing] get him! come on!let's do this thing now. chickenpock fights. get back! get him! yeah! yeah,that's my baby. try the headlock.
hey, that's a virus. we should arrest him. no, man that usedto be a virus. now he's on our side. that's chill.he's a flu shot. that's funny.he doesn't look flu-ish. why don't youjust stay here and watchthe maestro work. hey, chill. chill!don't y'all know
pock fighting'sagainst the law? hey, hey! hey,where y'all going? thanks a lot, junior.you just cost me 20. money ain't gonna beyour biggest problem, if you don'ttell me what you know about the sinuses. hey, i was injectedinto this body to raton influenza only, and this don't soundlike influenza to me.
i bet johnny streptococcusand the melanoma family will be very interested to hear aboutyour flu shot work. you can't jack meon that, brother. i'm in the virusprotection program. hey! what? uhh! drix: you, virus. i believechildren's strength ought to take careof you.
uh-oh, you donedone it now, chill. this guy'sa psycho cop. you had your chanceto spill it, but it's too late. this guy just got offthe thorazine. now he's cuckoofor cocoa puffs! he's going el pollo locoon your crazy behind! [maniacal laugh] i can't look.i just can't look.
chill: all right! [muffled sounds]aah! the guy's big time.he goes by the name of thrax. go to that new place,the zit, on the forehead. you can't miss it.it's huge. there's a big meetingthere tonight. i'm out! aah! [splash] but you didn'thear that from me.
you didn't hearthat from me! whoo-hoo! next time,i'll be the bad cop. you are a bad cop. yo, who you callinga bad cop? [singing with radio]♪ i mean, no words ♪ ♪ were ever spoken ♪ ♪ when she passed away ♪ ♪ i criedand cried all day ♪ radio: ♪ alone again,naturally ♪
[pounding bass] drix: my, whatbig zits he has. how did somethinglike this happen? osmosis: you wash your facewith fried chicken, that's how. female club goer:...last week? all right, youcome on in. oh, thank you! hey, wait, wait.hold up, now. where do you thinkyou're going?
to get our cootie! looking like that?they'll tear you apart. you got to get spiffy. spiffy? eee--eee... [creaking] whoo...whoo... oh, bleh... ahh! hyuh!
peep this.check it out. hmm. pliablecellular dynamics. what an ingeniousdefense mechanism. ooh! ooh! let me try. hyuh...ohh... [creak] what do you think? i think you shouldguard the car. oh, no.this is my mission, too.
i insiston going in with you. but we got to get yousomething to wear. [rock music playing,crowd talking] are you surethis disguise is working? oh, yeah. yeah.trust me, it's perfect. perfect. ♪ see me cruisingin my caddy ♪ ♪ folks, they liketo call me daddy ♪ ♪ cool when i'm stylin' ♪
♪ just roamingon the island ♪ ♪ i'm cool ♪ ♪ daddy cool ♪ ♪ call me cool ♪ we got company. be cool. now, try to relax.fit in. shake a tail cellor something. i don't dance. i--i have no left feet.
you don't dance? no. no, i-- come on,now don't tell me you ain't nevergotten jiggy wit' it. uh, i don't believei have. uh-- come on, baby! give mea little bit of this! oh, all right. come on.
here you go. oh, yeah, baby,that's it! shake it up, baby! don't let it allsettle at the bottom! shake that gel cap!shake it! oh, mama. yo! you's a big, bad cell.won't you back that cell up. you's a fine cell!won't you-- aah! all right, youstay here and practice.
boy, you need it. if i'm notback here in five, you come looking. ok? aah! ooh! ow! ♪ mackin' to this fat beat ♪ ♪ they's pushingthrough my back seat ♪ ♪ you know i gotthat gangsta lean ♪ ♪ they treat melike the mayor ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm the biggestplaya ♪
mackin' all honeys up herein the "d," baby! ♪ i rip,i rock, i roll, g ♪ ♪ i trim my hairwith the flowbee ♪ ♪ got soul, g,like al green ♪ ♪ cold coolin'like the a-team ♪ ♪ san francisco ♪ ♪ i'm shootinglike a pistol ♪ ♪ i'm so slick,i'm crisco ♪
♪ daddy likes to disco ♪ yo, barkeep,what you got? uhh! you got a problemwith that? no, no, no! this is just the wayi like it-- extra disgusting. bah! blah!
[grunts] hmm. thrax: my plan is simple. 3 teams will move throughthe cranial artery, and one throughthe nasal passage. we are goingto the brain, baby! and we are gonnasteal us one of these. now this little suckercomes from a place called the hypothalamus gland.
the hypo-hoppo-what-a-mus? hypothalamus. controls the temperaturefor the entire body. we are gonna marchright in there and we are goingto take the prize. then my man frank'sgonna heat up like a sidewalkon a summer day. i need to talk to you. what a zit.
i mean, what is it?what is it? what do you want? i want you to help me. you want meto call the cops? or maybe shanewould like to know about the 200-yardrestraining order that's stillin effect. please, we can't do that. she's beenhumiliated enough already.
oh, ho-ho-ho."humiliated." i'll tell youabout humiliation. you turned me into a walkingair sickness bag. my whole familywas humiliated. do youunderstand that? do you have any ideaof the teasing that my little sonsralph and chuck have had to endure?
i knowyour daughter hurly had to transfer schools. shirley. my daughter'sname is shirley. oh, that is much prettier. tom brokaw called her hurly. what? it was a very cutepicture of her, though. we got to get this waterunderneath our bridge as soon as possible,for shane's sake.
shane has nothingto do with this. i would neverhold anything againstone of my students. all right, that-- get back to work! now all of thisis going down tonight, so i want everyoneto be prepared. tonight? uh, can't wedo it next week?
me and madcow got ticketsto wrestlemania. you see this? this here little dna beadcomes from a little girl in riverside, california. didn't liketo wash her hands. took me 3 whole weeks. and this one--nice ladyin detroit, motown. 6 days flat. then there's this old guyin philly.
i killed him in 72 hours. yeah, i'm getting betteras i go along, baby, but the problem is,i never set a record! until my man frank, that is. i'm gonna take him downin 48 hours! get my own chapterin the medical books. all: heh-heh.yeah. right. uh, excuse me.excuse me. i got one morequestion here.
is there anything that,say, a white blood cell could do to stopthis evil plan? you know, hypotheticallyspeaking, that is. and who are you? who am i? who am i? a bad, booty-shaking,pickinosis. yeah, that's who i am. i never heard of you. that's 'causeyou just got here.
but you askany of these suckers when it comesto illing, bad, booty-shakingpickinosis stands aboveall the rest. ow. that hurts. hey, that ain't no germ! that's a cop! well, what do wehave here? an officerof frank's finest.
somebody lay down a towel. this is gonna be messy... attention, germs.you are surrounded. ♪ uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ ♪ uh-huh, uh-huh,surrounded ♪ yo, hammer,you can stop dancing. ♪ mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm ♪ hoo! aah...jeez!
what kept you? [chatters, gasps] muerte rojo. aah! you're gonna hurt me!let me out of here! i just want you to liftthis restraining order for this weekend, so i can do thisfather/daughter trip. the answer is no,mr. detorri. please?
think about itovernight. it would make a little girl very happy. drix: only for useagainst the most stubborn cold symptoms. [all murmur] darn child-proof caps... get him! all: blah!
ooh-ah! whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-- ooh! why you hit so hard? uh...uhh! [blabbers] dang it, drix. i could usea little help here! give me that thing! [all gasp]
oh, no. not again. wah! you have somethingwhite on your lips. other side. uh-oh. ohh...ooh! get out! out! the answer is no!
absolutely not! brr! thanks. you savedmy cytoplasm in there. mr. thrax has leftthe building! my name is what?my name is who? my name is ah!osmosis jones! now let's call infor a scab and get backto the precinct. chief: jones,in my office.
hey, hey! who died? other than thrax,that is. brandy! i mean, leah!what are you doing here? you really did itnow, jones. mr. mayor, i didn'tsee you back there. disregarding orders,destruction of public flesh. popping a pimplewithout a permit! what the heckwere you doing up there? what was i doing?
i was promotinggood heath, sir. oh, is thatwhat you call it? sir, he wasa lethal virus. if we hadn'tstopped him-- we'd be fried eggsoff of frank's dead butt! watch your mouth, kid.talk like that could cause a panic. at least that wouldstart people thinking about what's going onin this body,
instead of thinkingabout some stupid trip! ok, jones. you want usto start thinking? well, here's a thought. you're fired! uh, sir-- mr. mayor-- i'll needyour badge, mister. figures. i finally do something rightfor frank, and i get fired.
osmosis... please. without jones, frank could have beenin mortal danger. oh, mortal danger, hmm? you'd love to prove that,wouldn't you, mr. drixenol? get your name written up in the new england journal of medicine. son, do me a favor and readwhat it says on your arm? "for the temporaryrelief
of symptomsassociated with--" exactly. temporary. you're nothingbut a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand,marked down, over-the-counter,useless tic tac. now, get out of my body! tv announcer: it appearsthat continuing cold symptoms, while annoying, will not derail plansfor the upcoming trip
to the annual buffalochicken wing festival. ha ha ha ha ha ha! what's so funny? i don't know. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! they're making thistoo easy. you know, in allthe bodies i've been in, no one has evergotten wise to me. and now, for the first time,
an immunity cellhas figured out everything, and they don't believe him. [all laugh] can you tastethe irony in that? shut up! what are you twolaughing at? all right. all right,we're back on schedule. but boss, we'rethe only ones left. maybe we shouldincubate for a while?
you incubate. i said 48 hours,i'm gonna make my deadline. ohh...ohh... medical books aren'twritten about losers! i'm not going. you're notgoing where, hon? to buffalo. honey, i'm--we're all packed. buffalo's gonnabe a blast.
i'm going campingwith my friends. you're welcometo join us. well, i don't think-- i'd really like you to come. no. no, no.no, no, no, i-- you don't want mehuffing and puffing after you. if you want to go camping,ok, i'll-- i know i can get uncle bobto go with me to buffalo. i'm tired of this.it's not fair.
i go where youwant to go, i eat what youwant to eat. don't you ever think aboutanyone other than yourself? i think about youall the time. were you thinking about mewhen you packed me a fried slim jim sandwichfor lunch? yeah.it was a turkey slim jim. you know, dad... maybe if you and mom
listened to mea little more, and took better careof yourselves, maybe she'd still be here. will you knock offthat hamburger talk? come here, honey. hey... your mom died... because she got sick. and how do you thinkyou get sick? germs.
it's the way you eat. [belches] [squeak toy] who's that? did you knowmy great-great-grandpappy fought the measles? yep. there's beena jones on the force ever sincemy ancestors came over on the umbilical cord.
until now, that is. guard: all right, ladies.wrap it up now. well, i, uh... i guess i shouldget going. wouldn't want frankto build up an immunity to me. who knows? maybe next timehe takes drixinol it'll be ableto do him some good. good-bye, drips. that's drix.
♪ one time,blowing my mind ♪ ♪ but don't youdecline a dime ♪ ♪ baby be mine ♪ ♪ craig david ♪ ♪ it's another onethat you call, yeah ♪ ♪ lonely hours,lonely days ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ never meantto drive you away ♪ ♪ uh-huh ♪
♪ i should havelistened to you, lady ♪ ♪ and what you had to say ♪ ♪ if only, yeah ♪ ♪ i never knew how muchyou kick somebody ♪ ♪ after you...oh, oh ♪ ♪ that's right ♪ ♪ when you find outthat you should ♪ ♪ let your feeling show,feeling show ♪ ♪ and even thoughi've done you so wrong ♪
♪ don't you know ♪ ♪ like i know, baby ♪ all right,all right, people. let's get started. i don't needto remind anyone that today is our tripto buffalo, new york. frank will be upin 20 minutes. i don't want him so muchas losing an eyelash, stubbing his toe today.
♪ starting over ♪ excuse me, sir.would you like to see a freescreening? we've gota live feed here broadcasting dreamsall the way from the subconsciousin the brain. ♪ you see, you got the keyto my heart ♪ mrs. boyd: you get backto work right now. that's right, big boy.you keep on dreaming.
at least you gotyour health. 98.6. a-ha! perfect. [thrax slicesthrough door] uh, you can'tcome in here. heh heh heh! hypothalamus cell:no! no! aah! baby, you arelooking fine today. mmm...yes.
ooh, yeah! and don't forgetthat donut seat cushion we taketo the football games. i don't want the votersin the hemorrhoids having anythingto complain about. sir,something freaky is going onwith the weather. we're probably drinkingsome hot coffee. sir, look at the map.
what is jones is right? jones? ha ha ha! funny, funny--ohh! you care more aboutyour stupid re-election than you careabout all our lives. something's going on,and i'm going to the hypothalamusto check it out. hypo-who-de-what-is-this? leah, wait! who's goingto answer the phones?
[gasp] dispatcher:all units be advised. we have a break-in. sarge? nah. nothing down therebut bad dreams. [voices overlappingand echoing] huh? wait,wait, wait. mrs. boyd: or maybeshane would like to know
about the 200-yardrestraining order... shane: maybeif you and mom maybe she'dstill be here. zoo superintendent:now get out of here! mrs. boyd:get out! eww! no...um... you get backto work right now. what the heck is that? francis detorri,you stand up right now!
[kids laughing] thrax is alive! thrax is aliveand he's in the brain! cell: oh, great, pal!spoil the ending! hey, buddy,what temperature you got? 98.6. wait a minute, isthis thing broken again? drix! you get those skid marksout of my class, mister! out the door,out the door,
out the door! whew! this cat was sick before i even got here. announcer: now boarding!the 9:37 with non-stop... tickets, please. keep it moving,let's go. osmosis: drix!yo, drix! jones? get your time-releasebutt off this boat.
thrax is alive.come on, let's go. i'm sorry, osmosis,i can't help you. i wasn't designedto combat a virus. read my label. you gotta learn to thinkoutside the pillbox, man. conductor: come on,keep it moving. i've known sugar pillswho've cured cancer just because they believedthey could. oh, i don't know, ozzy.look at me.
i'm cherry flavored. [horn blows] hey, pal,you on or off? fine. flush your lifedown the toilet. the zipper's down. all ashore that'sgoing ashore. frank: ohh. drix: jones... you really know a sugar pillwho cured cancer?
but it makes for a goodpep talk, don't it? drix: let's gocatch a cold. hey, shane, how abouta hug for your uncle bob? ok, nice talkingto you, too. hey, muscles! [frank burps] you don'tlook so good. i feel a little fluey. you knowwhat they say.
starve a cold... drown the flu.there you go. your body needsfluids now and lots of them. is beer fluid? oh, of courseit's fluid. what about all thatwet stuff in it? i thoughtthat was the beer. oh, come on, no,finish that up.
come on, we wantto get better. come on, therewe go, that's it. that's my goodwashboard-tummy guy! there you go! this is it. men,go, go, go, go! hi, baby. what are youwaiting for? shoot him! if you follow me,she dies! let her go! freeze!
hey, this ain't no timeto get carsick. don't worry about me.i'm one-eighth dramamine. it's justthis darn heat. ay! just as long as itdon't hit 108 degrees, or frank's daughter'san orphan. hey, shane, lookwhat i brought for you. they're false eyelashes. just close your eye. there you go. you lookgood with falsies.
let me go! aah! bob: oh, don't worryabout shane. shane'll be fine. well, i justwant to, you know, put her at ease. i don't want herto worry. listen... why don't yousit her down and tell her that if anythingever happens to you,
i will take careof her, ok? i will raise her,i will nurture her, i will love her,and then when she's 16, i'll boot herout the door. 16? well, yeah, you know, i'm not gonnamommy her forever, ok? i mean, 16, sure. frank,are you all right?
dispatcher:all units, all units, he have a hostage situationinvolving the mayor's aide. oh, no, leah, girl,what were you thinking? and now we go liveto a high-speed chase in the superiorvena cava expressway. reports of a hostageare confirmed. officer: look out! suspect is headingtowards the uvula. repeat, headingtowards the uvula.
what the heckis a u-vala? it's that littledangly thing that hangs downin frank's-- boxer shorts!ok, here we go! not thatlittle dangly thing! the one in his throat! i knew that,i knew that. frank?are you with me? frank, are you--frank,are you with me?
yes, i feel fine.say it! frank, frank!hold on here. all right, that's it. hey, you're goingto the hospital. the trip is off. the trip is off? noooo! shane, isn't thatyour dad? shane: oh, my god.
stop the bus! uncle bob! shane! shane, what areyou doing here? what happened? it's ok,i'm her niece. um, well, honey, your daddy's hada little accident. is he ok?
oh, sure, no,he's gonna be fine. [sobbing] i hopehe's gonna be ok. let me go! hey, hey,watch the hands, buddy! hold up. put me down! a critical one here! what's the storyon this one? nurse: i don't know,i don't know what it is. the guy's burning up.
all right, let moveon my mark. ready, 1, 2...lift! what is thatnasty smell? cherry. wild cherry. now let her go. why? so you canice me again? no, so i can! virus con dios unh!
jones!oh, thank frank! what's histemperature? doctor: 106.2. put him in ice! let's getsome ice in here! we gotta coolthis guy down. go on in. nurse 2: we need someice in here! orderly: right,i'll get it.
daddy? maggie. no! no, dad,it's me, shane. come out, come out,wherever you are. i ain't got timefor this. heh heh heh! argh! chief:this is frank p.d.! we have yousurrounded! surrender at once!
give it up, thrax.you're busted. hand over the bracelet. y'all are making thistoo easy. ha ha ha! pollen? check this out. oh, no! dear mother of frank! [frank starting to sneeze] enjoy the funeral,boys. ha ha ha!
ah-choo! we're dead! how's your aim? a lot betterthan yours. jones, what do youthink you're doing? saving frank.let's do it. you want osmosis? you've got osmosis. whoooaaa!
pleh! ugh! argh! you just don't knowwhen to quit, do you, jones? you know what, jones? you wantthis chain so bad, big daddy thrax isgonna let you have it. looks goodon you, jones. you wear it well.
it's a shameyou had to come this far from homejust to die. [coughs] ha! who'sthe germinator now? [elastic bands snapping] [hollow echo] it's a falsie--ohh! can you feelthe heat, jones? heh heh heh! too badyou won't be here
to see mebreak my record when i take down frank's prettylittle girl. she ain't going down. you are. what? unh! aaargh! nooo! thrax: aaaaahhh! we're losing him.
breathe!come on, man. daddy! no, i don'twant to lose you. take her outside. come on, honey, there'snothing you can do. no, that's my dad!that's my dad! dad! hey, wait, wait!whoa, whoa! frank! frank! things are looking grim as temperatures riseto dangerous levels.
we have lost all contactwith the outer extremities. nnn will stay on the airas long as possible. when we come back, ordinary householdappliances that can improveyour golf swing. you--you silly twit! don't you get it?we are going to die! oh, i knew it, dan. at the first dark cloud,you fall apart.
moron! phony! gentlemen,playing with you has been the greatestpleasure of my life. [playing nearer my god to thee] he's not coming back.he's not gonna make it. come on, come on,he'll be--he'll be-- that's it. no, wait! hey, daddy!
i'm so sorry. i didn'tmean to say that to you. i don't blame youat all for mom's death. i didn't mean any of it. you're the greatest dadin the whole world. ozzy! ohh! oh, jones! chief: get that thingto the hypothalamus now! ok, i'm calling it. i'm sorry,sweetie.
come on.come on now. wait a minute.he's got a pulse. he's coming back. 107.7... 107.6... your mama says hi. ♪ oh, i believe ♪ ♪ oh, i believe... ♪ as sweltering temperaturesreturn to normal,
a grateful citysalutes osmosis jones, the brave officerwho saved us all. patrolman jones hasjust been reinstated to the immunity forcewith full privileges. hey, ozzy,can i count on you to keep frank in shape? you know we've got that biginsurance exam next month. you're gonna have totalk to my new partner, if he feels like hangingaround a little while.
but my workvisa's expired. well, we'll go downto the hemorrhoid and get youa good lawyer. come here, baby. i'm still jonesingfor a little more osmosis. ♪ i believe ♪ ♪ if we believe ♪ oh, my god. look how beautiful.
didn't i tell youit'd be worth it? i didn't think i could break a sweatcoming up here, but i did. yeah. it was kindof a long drive. carrot? hmm. i wonderwhat this does. hmm. ohh! [farts]
was that you? ohh. what the heck. out with the old,in with the new. ♪ ahh ♪ ♪ ahh ahh ♪ ♪ i am the kingof this city ♪ ♪ top down windowsand i'm puffin' like diddy ♪ ♪ ridin' 'cause the hatersface mad, team gritty ♪
♪ honk your horn twice ♪ ♪ if your missieslooking pretty ♪ ♪ well if yourun wit' them ♪ ♪ then i walkwith my killas ♪ ♪ no, you willnever have a woman here ♪ ♪ as longas i'm the dealer ♪ ♪ what you feelin'?you sure you want some ♪ ♪ i brought my slums,cats play like the rums ♪ ♪ there's moneyin large sums ♪
♪ and navigatorsand guns ♪ ♪ baby mamas wit' sons ♪ ♪ ain't afraidto let you have it ♪ ♪ if you tripwith their loved ones ♪ ♪ what i heardmost is no, no ♪ ♪ you best get on your mark,get set, and go, go ♪ ♪ like jagged edge i leaveya more def than so-so ♪ ♪ type of person can takea short sit in the front row ♪ ♪ get your handsout my pockets ♪
♪ don't want it,this is blow, blow ♪ ♪ the only bird i get wit'more is the dodo ♪ ♪ they like oh, oh ♪ ♪ it's what the screamin'from the back ♪ ♪ hey, timber, is wheni hit 'em wit' the ♪ ♪ put your gun away ♪ ♪ and you might liveto see another day ♪ ♪ come in head,run and done ♪ ♪ bustin' like andele ♪
♪ honk your horn twice isyour missies lookin' pretty ♪ ♪ honk your horn twice ifyour missies lookin' pretty ♪ ♪ asked aroundyou got a range ♪ ♪ boy, i beenhad wheels ♪ ♪ yo, you think you gota little change ♪ ♪ yeah, my girlies,they love me truly ♪ ♪ i remember you usedto shoot that thing ♪ ♪ y'all never knew me ♪ ♪ you used toclaim gangs ♪
♪ honk your horn twice ifyour missiles lookin' pretty ♪ [new song begins] ♪ yeah, try to fight it ♪ ♪ drama? drama! ♪ ♪ i'm an 18-wheeler,big mighty competer ♪ ♪ big ball, shot calls ♪ ♪ tell my thugsand my chicas ♪ ♪ get caughtin the club with us ♪ ♪ big ball, shot call ♪
♪ that's 3 heidy-hosstep in the front door ♪ ♪ lights, cameras, flash ♪ ♪ look at them react ♪ ♪ to the bouncing ball ♪ ♪ keep a fat bankroll ♪ ♪ making fresh roadswith a tight gangster pose ♪ ♪ so when you see me,see me, holla, holla ♪ ♪ what's up, dawg? ♪ ♪ that's a real bigball, shot call ♪
♪ and tell my thugsand my chicas ♪ ♪ i got something to say,something to say ♪ ♪ come on ♪ ♪ can you fill me in? ♪ ♪ let's talk about it ♪ ♪ i was checkingthis girl next door ♪ ♪ when her parents went outshe phoned ♪ ♪ said hey, boy,come on right around ♪ ♪ so knock on the door,you were standing ♪
♪ with a bottle of red wineready to pour ♪ ♪ dressed in all that satinand lace to the floor ♪ ♪ i mean, me and her parentswere kind of cool ♪ ♪ but if they were to findout between me and you ♪ ♪ we were just doing thingsyoung people end up doing ♪ ♪ parents trying to find outwhat we were up to ♪ ♪ saying why were creeping'round late last night? ♪ ♪ why did i see 2 shadowsmoving in your bedroom light? ♪ ♪ now you're dressedin black ♪
♪ when i left you weredressed in red ♪ ♪ why must you puta rush on me ♪ ♪ when i already told youhow it's gonna be? ♪ ♪ first of all,you gotta open my mind ♪ ♪ before i let you sendchills down my spine ♪ ♪ so, boy, don't be mad ♪ ♪ don't be upset, no ♪ ♪ don't be mad 'causeit ain't time yet ♪ ♪ don't be mad ♪
♪ yeah, i know you thinkwe're ready to be ♪ ♪ more than friends,you want intimacy ♪ ♪ and even thoughi get the urge ♪ ♪ i gotta make sure 'causei don't want to get hurt ♪ ♪ sunshine ♪ ♪ yo, sunshine ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ♪ ♪ mmm ♪
♪ i did hear you ♪ ♪ it was something ♪ ♪ there was nothingmuch to me ♪ ♪ i was in itfor the moment ♪ ♪ wanted someonetouching me ♪ ♪ and i didn't wantto fall in love ♪ ♪ so why did youhave to be ♪ ♪ so beautiful ♪ ♪ so good to me ♪
♪ when i wasonly looking for ♪ ♪ someone to hold ♪ ♪ just for a while ♪ ♪ why did i have tosee your smile ♪ ♪ why did you have to be ♪ ♪ the one who stayedin all my dreams ♪ ♪ when i was needingnothing more ♪ ♪ than someone to kiss,to hold on to me ♪ ♪ so right ♪
♪ oh, baby... ♪ captioned by the nationalcaptioning institute--www.ncicap.org--
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